Monday, December 27, 2010

Nine days.

Gah, I'm so happy. And nervous, and excited, and just over all happy.

I have about twelve hours to clean my room, the house, and turn the guest bed room into something more than just white walls and a closet. *shudders* I have too much to do...

I'm feeling a lot better this morning though, this past week I've been awfully sick with either allergies or a sinus infection. Either way... it sucked. It was getting uncomfortably close to when Chris was going to be here. I'm sure I'll still be recovering a little, but at least I'm not as bad as I was.

My room is a disaster, which is ironic considering I cleaned it up just a few days ago. I'm awful about that... Too much of a procrastinator. Aah well...

Hmm... jeez, I should probably get off the computer and start doing things xD time is ticking away!

We did it, hon, we really did it. And for nine days... life can be just as we've always dreamed it'll be.

Monday, December 20, 2010

WOO!

ONE WEEK!

No, seriously... one freakin' week. After all this waiting, long sighs, life spent alone... for nine days, we won't have to wait or dream anymore.

Wow... I knew we could do it. And we really have... again. At least next time won't be so far away.
I have so many places I want to take you to, and people to introduce you to. It's gonna be a blast.

So what is everyone's plan for New Years eve? Mik? xD haha

Bring a sweater, hon, it's cold here. :P

*sniggle*

Friday, December 17, 2010

Theme Playlist: Christmas

Tacky, I know. I'll come up with something better soon.

  1. All I want for Christmas is you - Mariah Carey
  2. Last Christmas- Glee
  3. Merry Christmas Darling- The Carpenters
  4. Baby it's cold outside - Glee
  5. Don't shoot me Santa - The Killers
  6. Home for the Holidas - Perry Colmo
  7. Believe - Polar Express
  8. Do you hear what I hear - Mariah Carey
  9. Mary did you know - Kutless
  10. God rest ye merry gentlemen- Perry Colmo
  11. Merry little Christmas - Mariah Carey
  12. Oh Holy Night - Mariah Carey
  13. It came upon a midnight clear - Kutless
  14. The most wonderful time of the year - Andy Williams
  15. What child is this- Trans Siberian Orchestra
  16. Feliz Navidad- Jose Valenciano
  17. Wonderful Christmas time- Paul McCartney
  18. Welcome Christmas  - Glee/Grinch who saved Christmas

It's more of a calm Christmas CD. I enjoy all of these songs...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Merry Christmas Darling

For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home...

That song can't be more true. Honestly, if you're gone, in college or just off living somewhere other than your home. To return to your family and familiar faces, there's just nothing like it.
There are times I wish I was somewhere other than here, though.

A lot has been going on, it's the main reason I haven't blogged lately. It was really hard for me to figure out my thoughts and such. I have (literally) four blog posts started, but I couldn't finish or post any of them. *shrugs* It happens to us all, though I do apologize.

I want you all to do one thing for me, if you haven't already, listen to Elbow's "A day like this", if you don't fall in love with the music in it you're upsetting.

I'm listening to Christmas music xD... I can't believe how close it is. 9 days to Christmas... and only 10 'til Chris gets here. Gah... I can't get over how excited I am. We waited 150+ days... and yet, we're still going. Heh, We're the coolest.

I need to make my own Christmas CD, I bought one from work but it's all 50's and 60's music, and all upbeat and Elvis-stuff. I want something more calm, that makes you wish you could get the fireplace going, with pretty candles and lights up and such. What do you guys suggest? Also, what is your all time favorite Christmas song?


Alright, I have a few questions for all you blog folks, and if you answer them it'll help me and make me smile.
1- Favorite crayon color?
2- Cheesiest/Most cliche gift you've ever given and received?
3- Favorite book? (Seriously! Tell me. I gotta read mooooore)
4- What is your favorite part about Christmas?
5- Give (I know this isn't a question) me a really strange topic to blog about, but be creative and something I could sort of be inspired to write about. I need to spice up my blog more... haha

Okay, that's all. xD Thanks.

I leave you with this:

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveler, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!  ~Charles Dickens

Monday, November 15, 2010

Inspired by Mr. Nobody

Who am I?
Why am I the person I am?
Why do I do the things I do, and want the things I want?
What am I trying to prove? And to whom?

I suppose these are questions everyone asks themselves at some point in life, inspired each time by something else.
But stop what you're doing, just for one minute, and ask yourself...
Who are you?
Why are you?
What is propelling you to act the way you act?

There is a reason for everything, and there is never a wrong turn. Sometimes you will get turned around, but who is there to tell you when you have?

Why do you feel something, and make everything work around that certain feeling? Whether it be love, hate, ambition, inspiration...

Why do I love, and make everything around me mold towards that love?

Is there anything more powerful than love? Anything more inspiring?

Think, listen, love, laugh, speak your opinions.

But what are your opinions? Nothing you say is truly your own. You heard it from someone else, or read it in a book that you did not write. You side with the story you like the best, and then act on what you liked.

You do not create ideas. You just add to old ones. You do not have your own personality. You just feed off of what you like, and don't like, from others.

You only love those who you are taught to love. You only act the way you are taught to act.

You only believe what you are taught to believe. Only what makes sense to you.

You will not do something you do not believe is right, but who will ever truly be right?

Who are you, to tell me what is right?
Who are you to tell me what to believe?
Who are you to tell me who, and how, to love?
Who are you, to tell me I'm not my own person?

Do you exist?

You do not exist. You are only a part of an imagination. Why should you exist? If you do not form your own opinions, your own beliefs, your own thoughts and actions. Why should you exist if all you are is an empty shell, molded by others?

Tear off that shell. Dig deeper.

Who are you?
Why are you?
How is it that you are, the way you are?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

We Are Family... Get Up Everybody And See.

So y'know what I've come to realize lately? How important it is for my siblings to have someone at their backs, holding them up and together. Someone that they can truly look up to and help them through all their tangles. I never noticed how much they depend on me for certain things until now... and I do my best to help them. There's always going to be times when I snap at them or don't want to have anything to do with them... but at the end of the day, they are my siblings, and I love them very much.

I woke up today, and found a cup of coffee on the stairs with a note saying "A magical cup of coffee, all ready to go :)" from my brother. I smiled, and muttered "I have the coolest brother" before going upstairs. But now, all morning I've been trying to figure out why he did that. I mean, what did I do that would make him want to do something for me? Rarely does he ever do anything for me... or so I thought. And then I started thinking even more and I realized, every day Noah does something or says something nice to me. Then I began thinking about Maya... and I realized that, although it's not as often or as noticeable, she does do things or acts towards me in a kind and considerate way. I hope that this is something that I do for them too. I hope that at the end of the day, when they think back on it they can remember at least one good thing that I was able to do for them.

I want to be a big sister that they can lean on, and they can rely on. I want to be someone that is their friend... who they can talk to about anything... I want to be a big sister who when we all grow up and go our seperate ways... every now and then they think about me and wish I was there. And a sister who they still keep in touch with throughout all the twists and turns in life.

I know they can be all of that and even more for me.

Friday, October 15, 2010

When I See You

Just to make it clear... I don't stare, I casually glance :P Haha.

This Is The World That We Live In

It's taken me a while to make a blogpost... simply because I want it to be absolutely fantastic, and not just some random post of mine that I do because I'm bored. I've actually gotten two posts already started, but didn't have enough motivation to finish them. The first was about a few books that I really recommend and the other one was... about something else, but I can't remember. It's not important.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that all the kids my age now a days want to do either one (or all) of three things all the time: Get drunk, smoke, or get sexy with someone else. Be it their boyfriend/girlfriend or some random person they found when they got drunk and high. It's really disappointing. There's so much more to life than that...

I got in trouble the other day at work. A lady that I sell jewelry to came into the café and told me she had a bunch of stones and jewelry that she could give me if I wanted, but that I had to go over and get them now because she was leaving. I went up to my boss who was attending a table (the only couple in, since it was nearing closing time) and once he was done talking with them, I asked him if I could go. I saw him hesitate, and then he told me to be quick about it.
I got back about 15 minutes later, and the place had been cleared away and picked up, and I could tell my boss was upset. I felt really bad, and didn't know how to address the situation, so I didn't. Which I suppose was a good thing, because the next day he told me that he was thinking about it the night before, and he realized that I am only sixteen. I mean... I'm good at what I do, but I still have a lot to learn. Once he told me that, he explained to me what I should have done, and how the way I went by doing all of that really affected everyone, including the customers.
The thing is, even though he said he forgave and wasn't upset anymore... I still feel guilty and bad. And like now I have to walk on eggshells because any little thing I do is just going to spoil it even more. But I suppose it'll all work itself out. The sad part is that I'm getting kinda tired of working there, and I've only been there two months. Ahh well, I'll figure it out.

You know what is strange? I have talked to quite a few people (briefly) about my relationship with Chris, and I've come to notice that young people, and older people are the only ones who truly understand. Beats me why this is, but I have talked with kids my own age, and a few of them can relate, and they all really understand what I'm going through. And I've talked to older people (above 40-ish) and they too are very knowledgeable and ask me all about it. But then there's the ones in the middle... The early twenties to late thirties... They laugh, and scoff at me when I tell them I'm in a long distance relationship. They look at me like I'm crazy, and they just laugh like I'm the biggest joke. What's with that? How are younger and older people the ones who really get it?

Hmm... we still have three of Ruby's puppies. We need to find homes for them... Anyone want a puppy?? They're adorable, seriously. The cutest and smartest things you've ever seen. I (L) them.

Monday, October 11, 2010

An Idea



So I have this idea... and I need your help. I need a new hobby, and I have to projects in mind. The first one actually wasn't my idea, but my boss shared his thought of making a book about the little cute stories everyone has to tell about their pets. Anyways, that's a different thing all together. MY idea, my own project, is that I'm going to be making a web comic of sorts, one of those one-panel-a-day stories that each one has not much to do with the last. Or maybe it will have a storyline... I still haven't really figured it out. But the background will be a stage of a theater, with all the red curtain drapes and pretty-ness, and the characters will be theater masks. You know, the 'happy-sad' masks? Well, it will be those but in all other different expressions and portraying their own personality to go with that expression. Kind of like the seven dwarves and their "Happy", "Grumpy", "Dopey". something like that, anyways.

I need your help with, first of all, the story line. Do you think there should be one? Or should it just be random things that have to do with acting and theater and such, or should each random thing follow some sort of plot line and idea? I really don't know. I don't even know what I'm going to do it about, but I think that if I really stick with this, it could be a lot of fun. I also don't know of I should do it by hand: Like, I cut out a stage background from construction paper and all the masks also with their expressions drawn on, and then I'd create the panel, take a picture of it, and upload it. Or if I should do it on the computer, and create a background in photoshop or something and use the same faces and just draw different expressions on them. The thing with the latter, is that I really don't know how to draw on the computer. I mean, I know photoshop pretty well, but I don't really know if I could draw something that doesn't end up looking like something a kindergardener did.

So anyways, those are my dilemmas. What do you think?

Saturday, October 9, 2010

These Words

These words from reviewing stands and these in parlors,
these, sewn by the thick thread of a voice
into the official-blue bag of a suit, and
those, stripped naked of their denim
in the probing search of revision;
these, known from having been heard too often, and those,
scarcely remembered from having been seen
so rarely; these words, which easily
let themselves slip through the strainer of a microphone,
and those, which must work themselves through a grating
with immense effort; these,
delivered with unflinching audacity, and those,
whispered softly from shame and anxiety into the ears
of a guard; these, spoken straightforward
into the dry eye of a camera, and those, which at being spoken
one's eyes lower, for it is hard to bear a woman's tears;
these words, which are broken in conference rooms
by stormy, long, unceasing applause,
and those, in visiting rooms broken
by the intervention of a watchful clock; these words,
these words of speeches too long and conversations too short
areI know it's inconceivablewords
of one and the same tongue.


Stanislaw Baranczak

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tell Me a Story

I met a man today at work, a simple-looking guy with wrinkles around his eyes from smiling, probably in his late fifties. He was sitting alone at a table, the only customer in the restaurant, so I decided I'd join him with a cup of coffee. We got to talking, he told me about his small adventures from having moved down here and about his family. I noticed that everytime he mentioned his wife, he would smile and talk about her very enthusiastically. I asked him how long they had been married, and he said almost fourty years, and it still felt like just a few months. he went on telling me about his marriage with her, and how they met. It had been a long distance relationship, with her in Florida and him in Ohio. When they started going out, he wasn't sure it would last, but only after a year or so in he realized he would never be able to live without her. Six months later, he asked her to marry him when he went to visit for the summer. They eloped when they were just out of highschool, and had a traditional wedding a few years later.
He is still completely in love with her, time had grounded them more, and made them much wiser. But at heart, they were still both young teenagers in love.

I don't think you can imagine how much hope that gave me.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Teehee

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Quote

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

I had to bring a quote to class, any quote that I wanted that meant something to me, or spoke to us in some way. I chose that quote by Albert Einstein. It was a famous quote that really summed up something that I've learned recently, and that is that you have to work your way through your own problems. You can't just sit back and watch them solve themselves. Each issue, confrontation, problem or puzzle in life is set there to teach us something in one way or another, but we put each thing there ourselves. We create our own problems, so we have to figure them out. You have to think... you have to learn. 

I just thought I'd share that quote with you guys, I really liked it.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Going The Extra Mile

Last December, I was in a relationship with the captain of our volleyball team at school. The only reason I went out with him was to convince myself I wasn't head over heals for Chris. It was a tricky situation. The guy's name is JP (Which is what I call him, short for John Paul). He was a good guy, interesting, kind, but very impatient and I felt shoved while in the relationship with him. He really liked me, and I didn't like him at all. Not romantically. I broke up with him a month after we started dating, and for about three days afterward he wouldn't leave me alone. He would show up at my door, or "bump into me" while I was walking home from school, etc. Needless to say, I felt harassed. I told him to move on with his life, and to leave me alone. Next thing I know he took a bus to Nayarit and hitchiked back.
I didn't talk to him for about two weeks, even though I saw him fairly often. I stopped going to volleyball practice and didn't hang out with his group of friends anymore. Nearing the end of the school year, he starts something within our volleyball team and even though everyone was furious with him, I was the only one that would yell back at him. One of these times, he told me that his life had changed, and in consecuence, he had changed. That he didn't care who liked him and who didn't anymore, that he knew he was doing the right thing and was helping 'toughen' the kids up. I told him he was being ridiculous and that his life hadn't changed at all, and he was just using it as an excuse for his behaviour and attitude. He then shifted his glance and told me that having a family can change your life.
Now, when he told me this, I literally had a facepalm moment. I knew he had issues, but enough to go as getting a girl pregnant? I walked away from him at this point. No questions needed to be asked, I didn't care. I was just glad to have dodged that bullet.
The months passed, and I didn't really talk to him again. I didn't want to, he wasn't someone I wanted to have in my life.
Today, he showed up at our school again. He was going to be using the volleyball court to practice for a tryout he had coming up. After a while of ignoring him, I realized my curiousity was really getting the best of me, so I went up and started chatting with him. It was very awkward and uncomfortable at first, but not that bad once he said something that made me upset and I yelled at him. Almost normal. After a few minutes of nothing to talk about, I asked him if I could ask him a question, and he said sure... I asked if he had a baby. He looked at me, and said that he used to, a little boy. I didn't understand, and asked him what happened... he told me that he had a friend that was abandoned by her boyfriend when she got pregnant. She was thrown out of her house, and was left to fend for herself. She needed someone, and JP offered to help her raise the child, even though it wasn't his and didn't have feelings for her. He told her that he would get a job or two, and be there for her, because he didn't like seeing her so alone in a situation like this.
Luckily for him, I suppose, the boyfriend came back and decided to marry the girl.So he didn't end up staying... but that really astonished me. I thought that he had gone off and done something incredible stupid and immature, but instead he really did something noble and generous. It wouldn't have worked, mind you, the helping her raise the child. It wasn't his child, and he didn't love the mother... but it was really neat how he would have changed his life in order for the little boy to have a father.

I guess next time I'll ask questions before I go supposing the worst of people, even when I don't like them.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Sisters


Wikipedia: In most societies throughout the world, siblings usually grow up together and spend a good deal of their childhood socializing with one another. This genetic and physical closeness may be marked by the development of strong emotional bond such as love or enmity.

Urban Dictionary: your sister is the girl that will always be there for you and may save you one day, whether you know it or not. your sister may or may not be related to you and could just be an amazing friend, but either way your sister is always slow to judge and quick to forgive. she will always love you, she might just hide it from you.

Unknown: A sister is someone who's been where you've been, who knows you and what you're about... Someone you know you can call if you need to when something's just not working out. A sister is someone who's more than just family her friendship is one of a kind... And the closeness you've  shared through life's laughter and tears is the deepest that you'll ever find.

Today,  the thing people lay awake at night and dream about happened to my sister. Her best friend moved away a few months ago... and today, she showed up completely unexpected at our door. The happiness that was radiating off Maya was tangible, she had this huge smile on her face, she even started to cry. I understood completely... I realized that this was something I'm sure she's been hoping, one of those wild "wish upon a star" hopes, that this would happen someday. Any day. It's something I do. I would have burst into tears if Ashley, Mik, or Chris had shown up at my door unexpectedly. They are all people I miss more than one can really imagine. It's an incredible joy, to have someone so close you, that they feel like sisters. To have a friend that you can confide so deeply in, that it doesn't matter what color you are, where you were born, the fact that you don't live together (sometimes that's a good thing). You're just the best of friends, that one can have. 
It amazes me how much people affect other people. Like my boss said the other day, "no man is an island". We need people... but I think I just realized how much.  

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I Need You With Me.



I have this love for you unmatched.
Already feel so damned attached.
Dreams of you, floating free.
Wishing these fantasies could only be.

But here lives a monstrous realism.
Stealing the joy from my very bosom.
That this gap between us lies.
Preventing us from solidifying ties.

Each night, I try to rest.
At ignoring this distance, I am not the best.
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.
And my lonliness becomes far too deep.

Deep within, exists another I.
Desiring nothing more than for what we have to die.
Insidious, insightful, slithering through my heart.
Striking at every insecurity, quick as a dart.

Though, when we talk I become elated.
It just feels so right, as though it were already fated.
The beauty of it makes me shed a tear.
As you always chase away the fear.

http://diadrin.deviantart.com/

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I Hold it all When I Hold You

Huh... six months. IF you take things literally, and say we've been going out since February 15th, then today would be our six months together... heh.

 First month
New and old emotions were alive at last. Free to be expressed, welcomed. Love was in the air, we were together.
"I know it's awful I'm gone. I know how you feel. All I have is a can top, a bunch of pictures, a jacket that still vaguely smells like you, and a whole bunch of memories.
But it's just the start. There is always more to come"

 Second month
Curiousity was blooming, doubts crept into our minds. Reassured whispers and loving voices to help us get through it.
"The thought of anybody longing for someone, thinking about them, counting the hours until the next fleeting days of paradise as strongly as I seems crazy."
"I guess we're both insane then."

 Third month
Hopes and dreams shared, new ideas created to keep our paths entwined. Heartache was deep inside us both, all we could do was count down the days together 'til we could hold the other once more.
"Time is moving quickly Lily. Before too long, I'll be able to be a part of your everyday life. I promise you. Until then, I'll wait however long it will take. Whenever it gets difficult or painful, just remember this- No matter where we are, or what paths we wind up following you'll always be everything I've ever wanted. I love you Lily."

 Fourth month
New experiences. Trust, honesty, caring for one another. Exploring the depth of what used to be a boundary. Summer was coming, and we knew we would be together.
"Do you think we can do it forever? simply this... Chris and Lily. Do you think we can do it?
"Yeah... if we stick together, and don't let each other fall."
"I won't let you fall, I promise"

 Fifth month
Time was ticking away, never were we as hopeful as now. Things perfectly in place, we knew we had a great time ahead of us. We did it.
"I don't know how the future is going to lay itself out for us, but I do know one thing: I've never been so sure about something as I am about you and I. You make me so happy, and so complete. I love you, don't ever forget it. We can do this."
"All the promises we made all those years ago are coming true again and again. It really was only just a matter of time, wasn't it?"

 Sixth month
No more waiting, no more heartache and dreams of being together. We had the chance to hope and live each day knowing we would wake up and see each other. Our goodbye was only a "see you later", and so it will be.
"It's the same night sky, no matter where you look at it from."

I don't know what I'd do without you, not only as my love, but as my friend. You've helped me and guided me through tangles I never thought I'd get through. You're an incredible person, and I'm so lucky to have you in my life.
I love you, darling. Let's try for a few more months, whaddaya say?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Journey Into Darkness

Have you ever wondered what goes on in the mind of a serial killer? Why they do what they do, what motivates them... it's an entire new science on human beings. I'm reading this book right now called "Adam" by Ted Dekker (if you like suspense/thriller mystery novels about the battle between good and evil, I really recommend Ted Dekker. He's one of my favourite authors). Anyways-I'm in the middle of the book so far, I started it in Canada but stopped for a week or so 'cause it was kinda freaking me out. It's about this killer named "Eve" who targets young women in their twenties, and he kills them all the same way- by injecting a mysterious illness on the night of a new moon and then leaving them in various underground basements or caverns. The virus or bacteria (they're not sure which) would cover the brain and central nervous system and create a swelling that placed such an amount of pressure on on the components of the nervous system that the brain was swollen to the point of epidural hemorrhage (woo for medical terminology).
As the story goes on about trying to find this killer, a side story is presented in the form of a newspaper article or a news story. It's about the abduction of two young children and their lives. The people that kidnapped them were true hideous people. They were regular assassins, a husband and a wife, who couldn't have kids so they took these two and raised them only to teach them how to survive one more day in their presence. They beat the children for any wrong thing they did, to the point that they both knew that one wrong look or glance at either "parent" would end in pain. But they didn't know any differently, until the older child decides to run away. They jump a train nearby and try to reconstruct their own lives out of the nightmare of their childhood and years growing up.

I won't go into much more, as to not ruin the story. But I do recommend the book, I haven't finished it yet. But when I do I'll write another post about my conclusion of it. If I didn't want to spoil the story, I would love to do a review on the book. So, if you're NOT planning on reading it (face it, only 25% [or so] of the time someone recommends a book to you do you read it.), let me know so I can do a neat review and not have anyone get mad at me. ^^

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

When memories fade... We've got each other.

This doesn't feel right. I'm home, but I don't feel at home. I'm with my family, but not really feeling loved, or safe. I slept in my own bed, in my own room... but I've never felt so alone and cold.


Things felt so right for a while. I was able to feel comfortable, loved, in love. I could hold hands with someone and be perfectly happy. We didn't have to worry, or be scared. We were together. And that's all that mattered. Our goodbye wasn't really a goodbye, it was filled with loving smile and caring eyes. We knew it was only a "'Til next time", and it will be.
One day. We can be together without having it be taken away from us after an amount of time. All we can do is hold on to each other, and know that however hard it is... we're never really alone.


It's the same night sky no matter where you're looking at it from.

And the countdown begins.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dead Hearts

Tell me everything that happened,
Tell me everything you saw.


They had lights inside their eyes...
They had lights inside their eyes...
 

Did you see the closing window,
Did you hear the slamming door?


They moved forward and my heart died...
They moved forward and my heart died...


Please, please tell me what they looked like,
Did they seem afraid of you?


They were kids that I once knew...
They were kids that I once knew...

I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
It's hard to know they're out there,
It's hard to know that you still care.
I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
Dead hearts are everywhere!
Dead hearts are everywhere!


I enjoy this song. It is pretty, if you want to look it up- Dead Hearts by Stars. It's worth it.
We're going through a corn maze today, I'm pretty excited. I've always wanted to try that out. So it's Saturday, the days we have together are becoming shorter, smaller, and faster. It's a sad reality, but there's nothing we can do about it but hope for the best. Perhaps Winter, if not that, next May for Grad. That will be fun.

I've had an incredible time, and I'm not ready to say goodbye. So let's just continue with our days, living them to the fullest that we can. And be happy, together.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Precious Little Life

*gulp* I'm meeting the Mom today. *sweatdrop* lol... okay, it's not that bad. I'm really excited, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really nervous.
I'm having a really good time, and I'm loving the place here. It's so beautiful. Yes, Mexico is incredible, and it's home... but there's just something different about the area here. So much sky! And the fields of yellow, blue and green... it's really is beautiful. I love it. It's incredibly artistic, you could say. It makes me really happy.

Chelsea is watching Dragon Tales... man, what a glimpse into my past. 

Well, I gotta get going. I'll write a more interesting post tonight, I just felt like... well, blogging.

Fireworks are incredible.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I dream I'm awake

Man, I'm tired. This is ridikuwus. >.<

On another note- Y'know how people are always talking about cultural shock when they travel? Yeah well... I haven't experienced it yet. I've not a clue why, but whenever I travel it's easy for me to recognize the different areas, and how each country is it's own, and has completely different things going on. I adapt to change very easily, and I can recognize differences, and acknowledging them isn't a difficult thing for me to do. I love to introduce new things into the country though, or into the family that I'm staying with (in this case). It's really neat to share what my home is like, and have them share it with me. I really, really enjoy traveling. Especially with the company I'm keeping now.

This may be why I'm not homesick. Or maybe it's because of how happy I am... I miss certain things in Mexico, but I'm really happy.

*sigh*... a little too happy, perhaps.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Ocean Eyes

So... sitting at the computer in Canada, with Christopher at my side playing his guitar. The rain drizzling gently outside, Maya and Andrew off roaming the wilderness, and happiness is just a simple comfort. It amazes me how one can be waiting and hoping for something for so long, and then finally have it with them. It seems almost surreal, can't really get used to it immediately. Half of you feels like you've been here the whole time, and the other half feels like this is just my imagination again... like it's just a dream.

But it's not, it's real. I'm here, and this is all really happening.

This is gonna be fun xD

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I love Larren art

Woo. Six days. Cool, huh? Yeah. That's pretty incredible. *happyhappyhappy*

No one has posted absolutely anything, so I thought I'd leave you with Larenn art... 'cause it's pretty. And I like it... Yeah.

^.^ Enjoy.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Nothing unusual

Woo... nine days. Can you believe it? We started at a hundred and nine. We've managed to go through a hundred. We're pretty cool. This makes me really happy.

On a completely unrelated note- my elbow hurts. What an odd thing to hurt, right? But almost any movement or strength I do with with my left arm sends a shooting pain at my elbow. Oddities.

I need new earbuds (like, those headphones that you just put in your ear and are small and unnoticeable?) Yeah. Mine are dead and I don't know what I'm going to do, I need music and I can't take the big headphones to work. *sniffle* I guess I can get some in Canada... but what about the remaining nine days with no music? Bleh :( sad...

I need to give Mik her present thingy, I've had it ready for like, too long, and just haven't given it to her yet. (psssssssssst! Mik! You should call me and tell me when to come over!) hehe.

I'd write a proper post but I dun't feel like it.

Bye.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Baby Names

What's with this world? There's a girl named Noah and a boy named Dana. A girl named Lily and a boy named Christopher... Oh wait, that's not what I was talking about, was it? :P
There's another girl named Jacob, and a boy named Autumn. It's all so weird. Like, the gender 'name' doesn't matter anymore. If you were expecting a boy and you came up with the name Robert, and it turns out to be a girl... well by golly name the poor girl Robert! "Hey Bob! Come play barbies with us!" *shudders* Don't get me wrong... I like the fact that people are going more out there and naming kids whatever they want even if it goes against society. BUT... there's an invisible line that you just don't cross, and that's one of them. There's a few exceptions, such as "Morgan" and "Sam" and "Tyler" (When I was living in Colorado, I was about 6 or so and was riding my bike outside my house, when this girl across the street from me starts riding also, and she asks me my name and I say "Lily, what's yours?" and she answers with "Tyler". I frowned and thought for a second, and then said "Isn't Tyler a boy's name??" Haha. I remember that. It was so funny, we ended up being really good friends.)
Anyways. Back to the subject... OH! And if you want to name your kid a name with a specific meaning (ie: moon), don't name her Luna (moon in spanish) because then she'll be nicknamed Loony. Get my drift? I mean... Unless you're into that, of course.

So, moral of the story, don't ask me my opinion on what to name your kids unless you want a very blunt answer.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Keep Holding On

Looking at all the other recent blogposts, I can't help but think... It's summer, isn't it? The days are long and warm, the nights filled with quiet raindrops and thunder. Everyone misses someone, whether that person is three, thirty or three thousand miles away. It seems that everyone is suffering, in one way or another. They spend the nights alone, wishing, hoping praying that the next day, the heartache will ease. And sometimes it does... and sometimes it doesn't. All we can do is lean on the shoulders of those around us. The friends who will be there always. Who, no matter the day, time, or reason, will listen to our cries, and hold our hand until things calm down. All we can do is wait, and hope this will work out. Believe in ourselves, in our loved ones, and in the fact that we know this is right. And if it isn't, something else out there is. Life is one huge puzzel, one big mystery. you can't ever blame it, you can only go along for the ride, and learn as you go.

To all my hurting friends out there-

Mik: Chin up, girlie. It will work out. Have faith in yourself and what you can do. You can change your entire life, you can change the world. Look into your life, what do you want? Who are you? Are you happy? Are you willing to sacrifice everything for what it is you want? Take a step back, and look at your life and yourself. Is this who you want to be? One thing I ask of you, never forget that I will always be here for you. Good or bad, sun or rain, laughter or sobs. You can count on me.

Raz: You're awesome. Don't ever forget that. You have spunk and a great outlook on life. Things are hard right now, and they might not get easier any time soon... but one day you'll look back on this, and realize how much it has really shaped your life. For this reason... hold on. Keep your head high and a smile on your face. Life is life, and it will be bumpy. Keep a hold on your friends, and your family. Seek refuge in yourself, but most of all- be true to who you are.

Maya: Aah sister... I feel your pain. Believe me, I do. All I can say is, if this is right... in the end the pain and heartache will be worth it. If you love him... cherish him and what you have. Nurish the relationship you've created. If this isn't what it's supposed to be... then don't let yourself fall. You're young, you have a full life ahead of you, but love and take care of what you have.

Keren-ha: Life is tough. I know, and especially for you. But you've always kept your head up. I admire this so much about you. Even in the really hard times, you've kept a smile on your face, and you've kept going. You have no idea how much I care about you. Hold on to your friends, and to your family. Love life, love God, and be true to yourself. You've got a wonderful life ahead of you, and remember, your Mamá loves you so, so much. And she's always looking out for you. Don't ever forget her.

Chris: Hon... jeez, I don't even know where to start. Things are hard. our situation is awful, and it will never be easy. But all I can say is, we've made it better just by being together. It takes two to tango, you always say... and by being two, when one falls the other one is there to catch them. I miss you more everyday, I send you silly texts and emails just to let you know I'm thinking about you. I don't know how the future is going to lay itself out for us, but I do know one thing: I've never been so sure about something as I am about you and I. You make me so happy, and so complete. I love you, don't ever forget it. We can do this.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ode To A Rain Drop

That little drop fell from the sky
And hit me full on in the eye.
It's friend then came
And hit me too
Oh, whatever shall I do?
A raindrops tactics
are superb
It comes when we're
Stuck on the curb.
Then it's army closes in,
And soaks us through
Right to the skin!
Amazing, tiny,
Drops of rain,
Defeat us but
Cause us no pain.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Ooooo oooooo ohoohohoo
Ooooo ohooohoo oooohoo
Ooooo ohoohooo oohoooo
Oohooo oohoooho ooooho
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I?

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I?

A/N: I wanna learn this on the Mandolin. It's Israel Kamakawiwo Ole's version. It makes me happy.

Top Six Affectionate Pets

1. Sugar Gliders



The Sugar Glider is for those of you who think squirrels are adorable and would like to have one as a pet. The pet is actually not related to squirrel, however these small marsupials share many commonalities with flying squirrels. Sugar Gliders are also very social animals. Sugar gliders yearn for extensive attention from their human owners or need another sugar glider present as a companion. The Sugar Glider's diet is composed of high amounts of fruits, vegetables and some insects. This pet is for those who want to interact with a pet that enjoys consistent human interaction.

2. Chinchillas



Chinchillas resemble squirrel-mouse hybrids with enormous furry ears. As pets, Chinchillas are very docile and easy to keep and maintain. A drawback to the Chinchilla is that the pet can be hard at times to socialize and can be introverted. The animal prefers a quiet environment and strongly disfavors sudden movements, loud noises or extreme changes in its environment. A quirky aspect of the Chinchilla is that it prefers bathing with dust or sand as opposed to water. Chinchillas are also known to chew on a variety of objects, therefore many chewable items should be kept in the pets enclosure. The enclosure for the Chinchilla must be relatively large to provide this pet with the opportunity to roam. These animals are not noisy and almost odorless as a good alternative to gerbils or rats.

3. Ferrets



Ferrets are known as clever, affectionate and personable animals despite being criticized for their weasel like appearance. Their proponents claim them to be exceptional pets because of their high energy and interactivity with toys, balls and their environment. Though the animals spend the majority of their time in an enclosure, ferrets need to be released frequently for exercise. As the popularity of ferrets increases, many accessories have hit the market including pouches, leashes and custom clothing. Additionally if the animal is spayed or neutered and decantered, the smell of the animal is nearly eradicated.

4. Snakes



Snakes have long been an interest of pet owners. Snakes are best for people who are not seeking a fuzzy et to cuddle with, but would rather an enigmatic animal to appreciate. It should be noted that you must not mind that animal eating live mice or rats. Snakes however can be difficult pets similar to many other reptiles. Snakes require special heat lamps or heated rocks to maintain the body temperature of this cold blooded animal. Additionally, the specialized diet of the animal and difficulty finding quality veterinarian services can be challenging. However, if you remain undaunted by these challenges a snake may make an exceptional pet for you.

5. Guinea Pigs



The Hamster is generally a child's first pet, however a guinea pig may be the best choice for most. Guinea pigs are renowned as outgoing and affectionate pets that are very easy to take care of. The animal can live very well on simple pellet foods and enjoys are large enclosure or can even do well in an open sectioned off portion of the apartment. With enough space, a Guinea Pig can be trained to use a litter box. Guinea pigs can become very attached to their human caretakers and make a small squeaking sound at times. The guinea pig enjoys an active life and can make an exceptional apartment pet.

6. Rats



Rats are abhorred by many, however others discovery excellently clever companions. If its appearance and stereotypes don't dissuade you, the rat may be a good pet for you. Rats are extremely easy to care for. Rat enthusiasts applaud the pets increasing intelligence and often engage in games with their pets. The rat needs a modes sized enclosure and flourishes with human interaction. A rat can and will bond with its owner and despite the stereotypes will be a very clean and affectionate pet.


A/N: Okay so, I have a snake, I have a guinea pig, Chris wants a ferret, A chinchilla would be fun, or perhaps that sugar glider or something... When I'm older and moved out and whatnot, I'm going to get the worlds most affectionate pet xD... I need cuddles o-o
Whaddaya think?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Pocket Billiards

Playing pool is sexy.

(Siblings excluded)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Strange Days

There were bells on the hill, but I never heard them ringing. No I never heard them at all... until there was you. There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them singing. No I never saw them at all, 'til there was you.

An a completely unrelated note... I think I'm stressed. I had a friend point that out to me yesterday, and she's right. Dude. Too much going on, waaaaay too much to do before Canada. I have to get my passport, gotta get new glasses and contacts so I'm not blind, I have to go to the dentist, Mum wants to get my hair cut again and I STILL haven't gotten some of the things I wanted to get for the trip. I have to finish this semester with good grades, gotta do some extra work for these and those classes, gotta finish the last proyect that I still haven't started and I have to pretend that I don't care that other people are planning the end-of-semester party instead of me. Blah. And on top of that... so much confusion! Confusion, heartache, insomnia (it's coming back! NOOOOOO!!!), health issues... so much. Way too much going on at once. I'm like... being pulled in fifty different directions. Still gotta talk to Denae, I want to hang out with Jazz before she leaves, I want to talk/hang out with Mik, Victor's in an emotional... well, yeah... I want to be there for him, but it's sorta hard. Arno is awesome, I need to hang out with him more. JP is bugging me (what else is new?), I feel like I've lost school friends because of my odd moods and not-always-laughing/hyper-ness, my music is sorta dying and I want to quit my job, but I really need money. Also- Summer is full of traveling. I may be going to San Luis Potosi to nanny some kids for a couple days, then PV and then Canada... then possibly Colima when I get back. Sheesh.

I need a break.
And a massage. I have this knot in my back that's awful.

I feel like I just rambled and complained during this post... although, I haven't done it much so you'll just have to put up with me :P

Bloop. OH! And then Maya stole my favourite word ¬¬

Garh.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Morning buzz

Wake up to the soft chirp of my guinea pig. The pretty little purring of the small critter... the soft rain outside just makes my morning complete. As I look up to the sky, and see the white clouds blooming!!!!!! The ground outside is damp. The smell in the air is like... well, wet ground. The flowers are wet. Also. Yeah. My morning breakfast is a bowl of.... FRUIT! With yogurt. And coffee. And now! I am blogging! And I am singing! What I'm blogging! So, read this again... and sing a little tune. And it's sure to make your morning flume.

Harry Potter.

Woo.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Now Go

Who are you?
Who am I?
What are we?
Is this a lie?
I want to laugh
I want to cry
I want to dream
I want to fly
A wish is made
A tear has fallen
A memory fades
A smile is shared
Beauty recognized
Goals accomplished
Dreams fulfilled
Friends made

A hug
A kiss
A smile
A tear

The end.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Vanish

Rain.

Momentary rush of happiness, soon followed by anxiety.

Something is wrong.

Something unknown. Mysterious, but all around.

Lightning. Thunder. Beauty only some can truly appreciate.

Soft drops on my skin, leaving a burning sensation of cold in their place.

My heart is pounding. The air is rushing.

Questions are asked. No answer is given.  All sense has faded.

Danger is all around us. The sensation unmistakable.

I close my eyes. Willing for it to go away as I shiver it off.

I awake in a dry, warm room.

Right where I started.

Thunder.


A/N: Just an idea I had for a short story, but it came and went very quickly and I didn't have a chance to really think it through and write it. So I wrote the impressions it left me.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Making Fudge

So you know how everyone has a certain something, that describes them entirely? Perhaps a piece of clothing, a purse, their shoes... You can tell almost everything about someone just by looking at one thing: their wallet. I have always had this really strange and absurd desire to look through stray wallets. I say stray, because I'm not a pickpocket. I don't go up to people, take their wallet and look through it. It's just in those odd occasions where they'll leave their wallet on the grass while they go play a game, or they give the wallet to me or (anyone around me, really) for safe keeping. I go through it. Now, I guess in a way this is really an invasion of privacy... but only for this reason, the fact that anything you find in there will show what kind of person they are. In the many wallets I have found, only a couple have gotten upset at me for doing it, and one of them was because I found birth control inside... It was quite an interesting find. The other person got upset because simply because he didn't really like me much. So invading his personal space wasn't welcome. Everyone else has (mostly) been fine with it though.
In my wallet... you'll find a guitar pick, my keys, my credential for school, money (sometimes), and my headache pills. Along with a few business cards I've picked up along the way. It's not much, but if you'll notice, it all says something about me.
The most interesting finds I have found in wallets other than the previous one I mentioned have been pop can opener things (jeez, there was this one girl that literally had like 20 of those. It was ridiculous), concert tickets, love notes, extra battery for their cell phones, and quite a few other things.

That's my bit for now. I have more to talk about it but I ought to go, I'm on the phone... o-o

Friday, June 4, 2010

Dream to fly

Have you ever felt like a story will write itself?
Or like a painting is drawn on it's own?
How about a dance, where your feet are moving all by themselves?

Inspiration is drawn by any surrounding. It moves through the air, it is in the aroma of a rose, the beauty, the crimson tint. The laughter, the love, the smiles. The sadness, the loneliness, the tears. If you're given inspiration, don't let it go. You don't know when you'll be given it again. It comes and goes as it wishes, similar to the flight of a butterfly, or a thunder storm during a drought. But it is a beautiful thing.

The rubber band on my wrist says it all: Happiness.

41 days. Almost, my love.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Blind

There's something missing. Something in the air... a scent, a breeze, a sound. Nothing is the way it should be. I turn my head, gazing in every direction, trying to hear as far as I can. The jagged rocks of the mountains around me pierce through the sky with a forbidding aura that makes me want to flee, but a promise had been made. I continue to walk forward, step by step, thorns piercing my now callused skin, rocks embedding themselves in my makeshift shoes. The clothes I have are only scraps. Ripped apart by the force of nature and time. My skin is now dark, colored by the heat of the sun. My hair is white, bleached, ripped, tangled to the point where I knew of no other alternative than to take my own knife to it. My eyes have long lost any sight to them, a pale blue similar to that of a cloudy day has taken place of any specs of color. I could feel no pain, only fear. I could no longer see, but I could hear. The strange colors of my imagination had replaced those of reality. The sounds in my mind, and the rustling all around me kept me company on my journey. A promise. One that bound me by faith, by morals. I continued forward, nearing the base of the mountain, I could feel other presences around me. A snake, a hawk, scorpions, and... the one thing I came for. I could feel it just beyond the reach of my fingertips. A strange energy pulsing from the only thing that could make this all worth it. A reason for the dry blood on the soles of my feet and arms. The blindness in my eyes, the pain I could no longer feel. I could almost touch it... suddenly an unrecognizable rustling sounded next to my feet, I swung my wrist behind me, hoping to protect myself from this strange presence. I hit air, but I could feel something there. An aura at my feet, rising to meet my knees and slowly continuing towards my waist. I try to run, but it has me entrapped, I cannot move, I cannot speak. My voice has no power, no strength. I can feel all energy in me weakening as this air rising like steam envelopes me. I can almost forget why I was here. Then I remember... it was a promise. A promise I almost kept. My knees crash to the ground as I can feel a last tear fall down my cheek, and then, I can see.

A/N: Again... strange, unexplainable inspiration.

An Easy, Peaceful Feeling.

The gentle touch of your fingertips on my eyelids. Shutting them closed with a fragility similar to that of a rose petal. No one else around me can feel me just as you can. Gone, and yet still here. Nothing around me is as it was only a few days ago. A scent, unmistakably that of lilies fills the air. A chosen couple walk up the small steps, my sister, and her lover. A short speech, heartfelt words and silent tears are exchanged between the two and the small audience. I reach out my hand, and touch my sisters shoulder. A small breeze rushes towards her as she looks in my direction, her eyes grasping to see what isn't there. Another hand in hers pulls her away from me, and towards the rest of the people. I glance over to where you are, just as you raise your head and look at me. Straight at me. I smile, a small, peaceful smile.

A/N: Really strange inspiration hit me tonight, and I didn't know how to direct it... then I got this really [strange] idea that started flowing just as I wrote the first couple words. I don't know what it is, or what it means. But, there you have it.

Forever May You Run

Take it easy on yourself
Some sounds of yesterday
The ghost of you dancing in the hallway

Lunar to base
Let's get this on
The kids have gone mad
They've been insane all along

Forever may you run

You don't deserve to get lost
Soon will come the waves will stop
The still of the night
Sitting amps in the half line
May your struggles all be one

Forever may you run

I'm walking into the end
I got nowhere left to go
I get so in between
Didn't make it to the disco
The president's in bed
They're trying to find a king
Buddha here is busy
Jesus wasn't in

There is snow over the road
We'll have to wait before we go
Let the heat come in
Where you end I begin

Forever may you run

Did it all to yourself

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Thoughts going 'round my head

I am so, SO confused. I just don't get it. I don't understand... I mean, sure... this is a heck of a lot better than it was but... jeez. I don't get it.

*gives up trying to understand the male race*

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

ALKfJSLIDVJELSKRJ!!!!!

AGH! WHY!?!?!?!?!? When did I ask for all of this? This drama? These problems?? WHEN!? Tell me, please! Last I checked I had cut it off because I wanted to get AWAY from the problems, not to step into even more!
*facedesk*

Please. Just get me away from here. I'm sick of all this. Problems here and there, and even when I thought I was helping them out... it turns out that I was the one doing wrong?!?!?! WHAT?!

AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God I need to vent. This isn't venting. This isn't helping. UGH! *yells frantically at monitor* 

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Abra Cadaver

Okay. I've finally gotten over my OCD (I finally reached 100 posts and somehow the OCD was preventing me from posting any more... don't ask. I don't get it either).

Well, today was very interesting... I got invited by a pre-med student my mom knows to spend a day with her at her school. I ended up going into the city the night before, seeing as it would make going to class early in the morning much easier. Once I arrived, I was given a quick tour of the house and then Michelle (the pre-med student) told me she needed to read, so she gave me the liberty of looking around the house, checking out the medical books and whatnot.  Not really knowing what to do, I did what I know how to do best: reading. I picked up a couple of her medical books, mainly anatomy ones, and took them to her eldest sons room (where I was to be sleeping). It was roughly 9 in the evening, so I sat down in the bed and began leafing through the books. But not too shortly in it, I looked up, and realized how awfully foreign everything was. Not only had I never met this family before, nor been in their house, or the room I was sleeping in, but I felt so completely unknowledgeable in most of the simple subject I was reading through. It made a part of me so completely... discouraged. I felt like I should know this by now. I have always known I wanted to go into medicine, so why haven't I already started studying basic anatomy?? A part of me was very disappointed in myself, which made the other half of me begin to really look at the book. I now realize that I am young, I have two more years until I even begin medical school. I can start now. I feel like I'm getting a late start, but compared to many... I really am not.
Anyways, to the next day (the more exciting part). I was woken up around 6 30 by the kids' noise of getting ready (she has three kids, Andrew [age 11], Patrick [9] and Oliver [5-ish].). Giving up struggling to sleep longer, I get up a little while afterwards, and begin to get dressed. Once I'm done, I went downstairs and chatted with Michelle and Kelsey (her kids' nanny- young girl, just out of highschool helping Michelle out). At 7 30 we piled into the car and went to the school, dropping the elder 2 off at school first.
The first class was Bio-Chem. Now, normally this wouldn't have been strange for me... except it was in English. ... yeah. I have always been schooled in Spanish, so a class in English, although I'm fluent, was strange. So I got the just of the class, I actually caught on pretty quick to what was going on (we were learning the molecular structures of the many different types of Vitamin A, including the way the light works against the retina and whatnot). So that was an okay class.
Next was Histology. Now, first of all... the teacher sucked. And everyone knew it. Actually, literally about two thirds of the class didn't even stay for the class. But it was interesting enough for me. His method of teaching was a bit tiresome, but I managed to salvage some information from it anyways.
The next class wasn't until three... Can you guess? Yep. Anatomy. After chilling around the city and campus for a couple hours, I met up at the lab with Michelle, and went in. Now, the first thing that hit me was the smell. Have you ever smelled formaldehyde? Yes? No? If you have, you've probably smelled it dissolved to 1%, perhaps a little more. Now imagine enough to conserve TWO cadavers, plus all of their internal organs. Yeah... Now times that by 10, seeing as I'm very sensitive to smells.
Yeah.
I had to step out just for a couple minutes before I passed out. Gradually I became accustomed to it. And I'm sure that if I was there long enough that I would get used to it. But the first whiff was awful.
So the cadavers were pretty interesting. Because of the fact that I got there at the end of the semester, they were all already sliced open and dissected and whatnot.  Basically it was just... a body, and all their insides. I don't know if it's really messed up, or if I'm emotionally strange... but it didn't bother me at all. I was able to look around and poke through their thorax and intestines and I got to hold a couple hearts and "play" around with some of his organs (yes, I was wearing gloves.). But all in all, it didn't bother me. Sure I was a little disgusted, but how could you NOT be?
So, pretty much the entire trip was neat. It was a nice view into the medical life. And because of it, I was able to realize that I DO want to be a doctor, but there's certain things I'm pretty sure I don't want to do. Such as study at that school (for various reasons of my own), become a GP, or even a neurologist. But I guess that's what all this is about, right? Figuring out what you're meant to be, and getting a head start on it.
I'm very thankful for this experience. It was definitely one to remember.

"I see dead bodies"

xD (My Mom's only conditions to let me go were 1- to get permission from my school, and 2- to post that as my facebook status when I got back. lol)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Lol, I can be so tacky sometimes.

Also, the count down is now correct.

:P

Sunday, May 9, 2010

It's my life.

I really hate how people are so easily influenced. And how people think that they need to act a certain way to be liked. To be popular, to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I honestly find it so frustrating. I would rather be friends with the biggest geek in the world, who is truly their own person, than the prettiest, most popular person who is completely fake and full of themselves.

They simply tire me. I don't want to put up with their lies and fake masks. It makes me so sad, when I see a friend who was such an incredible person... very unique, genuine, full of happiness... who then allows other people to completely turn their life around. They begin to party, smoke, drink. They think that by making out with someone they don't even know for an hour that it will ease all their worries and they'll have the time of their lives. Well, guess what? Whoever told you that, is a big, fat, liar. And I will prove it to you. Talk to me, and I will help you. I promise. I feel like I'm truly my own person. I don't care what other people think of me. Yes, I like to hear what their opinions are, and I'll listen. But I'm not going to change just because they say "you're boring and you should party more."  Screw them. I'm going to live how I want to live. I'm going to party how I want to party, and I'm going to love how I want to love.

And if you have a problem with that, go stuff cockroaches into your ear because I couldn't care less.

VS                                         

Drift Away



I want to blog. But I'm not sure what to blog about. So here I am. Blogging. About what? Doesn't matter. If you're one of my (OHEMGEE14FOLLOWERS!) then you're reading it 'cause you don't care what I blog about. Or you're bored. Either way. Read, comment, or go away.

:D

lol.

Tonight I chose to blog about... crossing paths.

Over the years of my life... I have met many, many people. The town I live in is quite small, actually. But my Mom's job and my own require meeting many new people every day. I'm not exactly a social person, but I'm nice. And I somehow am able to communicate really well with older people. At least older than me. Which is good, I suppose. It really comes in handy with my job. And family...

But that's not what this blog is about. I believe that some of the people you meet... you're meant to meet them.  Whether it's today, tomorrow, or in ten years. You cross paths with someone who is important to you later on. But at that moment, you just see them as another face in the crowd. Another voice among millions. You don't really take them into consideration. But later, they could be someone very dear to you. Whether it be your best friend, your lover, or the person that you talk to every day as you ride the bus to work. People were put in this world to keep us company. And I quite enjoy them.

Thanks for being there for me, people :) Remember I'll be there for you too.


Gimme the beat boys, and free my soul. I wanna get lost in your rock 'n roll and drift away...

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Now ask me again why I don't drink, smoke or take drugs.

I do not like alcohol.
I do not like cigarettes.
I do not like drugs.
I do not like not being in control.
I do not like throwing up.
I do not like getting dizzy.
I do not like headaches.
I do not like making a fool of myself.
I do not like not remembering what happened.
I do not like making out with random people.
I do not like the addiction.
I do not like coughing.
I do not like not being able to breath.
I do not like STDs.
I do not like getting pregnant unexpectedly.
I do not like being scared.
I do not like being at the mercy of a drink.
I do not like other people cleaning up after me.
I do not like smelling like smoke.
I do not like stomach aches.
I do not like lying to my parents or being a disappointment.
I do not like my grades dropping.
I do not like that reputation.
I do not like not being trusted.
I do not like being irresponsible.
I do not like being immature.
I do not like the taste.
I do not like the smell.
I do not like the damages.
I do not like feeling sick.
I do not like being looked down on.
I do not like injections.
I do not like burns in my throat.
I do not like smoke in my eyes.
I do not like pain in my chest.
I do not like wanting more.
I do not like crying.
I do not like shaking.
I do not like random sex with someone I don't want to be with.
I do not like getting raped.
I do not like date-rape pills in my drink.
I do not like migraines.
I do not like feeling unbalanced.
I do not like walking tipsily without wanting to.
I do not like having to be carried.
I do not like hallucinating.
I do not like slurring my words.
I do not like having bloodshot eyes.
I do not like loosing sleep more than I already do.
I do not like the consequences.

Do you?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Years, Miles and Dreams

Bleh. It started okay and then ended roughly. Oh well... One day poem writing will not only start easily but end also. One day.


One day this will all be gone,
The days we counted that seemed so long,
It'll leave us, a pure memory at last.
Once our present, will be our past.
We waited for years, miles and dreams.
Because without you, nothing is at is seems.

"I long to be with you, like the bird longs to sing"

Fade

Looking out the window, to the dark, moonless night,
I think of you, and I think of our fight.
It makes me sad, the way it came to be
How we both let go, even after my plea.
I made a mistake, one I'm willing to repair
But your patience has worn, and been thrown to the air.
There's only one thing left to say,
I'm sorry. And perhaps one day
This will be only a memory.
One that will eventually fade.

Inspiration to Fly

This is an article about my experience paragliding that my Mom asked me to write for the Focus on Mexico newsletter.


Inspiration to fly.


By: Lily Barker
“It’s about the moment when nothing else matters, when you’re catching an experience that will turn into a long lasting memory”

Have you ever dreamt that you were flying? That you were soaring over the expanse of the lake, with mountains underneath you and a blue sky above? Well, not only have I dreamt that but I did it. One word: Paragliding.

Activ8 Chapala, a program determined to showing people the real beauty of this world, and of this area. They offer many different experiences, such as Paragliding, 4x4 Adventures, Climbing, Rappelling, Kite surfing, Sailing, among others. My Mom, Kristina Morgan heard about them a couple months ago, and as a gift for my 16th birthday, decided that she’d give me the chance to do paragliding.

It started the night before my birthday, I was sitting on the couch reading a book when my Parents came into the room and asked me if I had ever heard of Activ8. I replied asking if it was the yogurt that is popular around here (activia). Laughing, they shook their heads and explained the entire surprise. It was very exciting.

I got up bright and early the next morning, ready to go. Got in the car with my parents and drove for a good 40 minutes to El Chante, a small town just before Jocotepec. We met up there with the Activ8 group, Peter Brinkeby, Andres Ibarra Gomez and Camillo Ibarra Gomez, they took us all in their 4x4 truck up one of the nearby mountains until we were at the very top. During the 30 minute car ride, we learned that Peter, who was born in Sweden and has many years of experience regarding the outdoor life, was going to be the person I would be riding tandem with during the paragliding. He was also named 2nd best paraglider in the world in 2002. Let’s just say, this reassured my Mom.

Once we arrived to the top of the mountain, we all got out of the truck and marveled at the incredible view below us. We could see almost the entire lake, all of Jocotepec, Ajijic, and many of the smaller towns in between and after. It was a beautiful day, with just enough wind, a wonderful blue sky and minimal clouds. The lake looked less green and more vibrant so far up, giving the area such a majestic feeling. I was then suited up and harnessed to a parachute, and was given the instructions of doing anything and everything Peter told me to do. I stood back to back with Peter, looking down at the view in front of us and waited for him to tell me to start running. Five minutes later, after a very tense silence, he lifted the parachute and I could feel the wind filling it up as I started moving towards the edge of the cliff. Next thing I know, my feet are no longer touching the ground and I am in the air, slowly gaining altitude as the parachute is propelled by the wind.

I could no longer feel my own weight, as I soared through the sky with the wind in my face and the sun at my back. Peter began to teach me how air really works, explaining that we needed to find a Thermal, which is basically hot air and cold air that has mixed together creating a sort of whirl of wind. This is what allows birds to glide long distances without flapping their wings the entire time, and helping them gain altitude. Any time that you see birds above you circling the air, it is not because there is food underneath them that they are looking for, it is because they found a thermal and are trying to fly with it, to rise into the sky.

The entire experience was spectacular. I could see everywhere, and from so up high the mountains were a beautiful green. The lake was many different sparkling shades of blue, and any constructions were just little tiny specks compared to the wondrous beauty of nature around me. Peter taught me how to steer the parachute, using two very simple breaks.

I was in the air for a good 45 minutes. Sometimes just floating in the sky, using the wind to keep us there, rising in a thermal that we had found, gliding over the expanse below us, or even doing aerobatics over the lake. The experience was definitely one that I will remember forever, and it was an amazing way to begin my 16th year of living. It really inspired me to do things that I enjoy to do more, and it opened my eyes and helped me see that this world is so beautiful. Everything that we could possibly need is right here, there’s nothing that could make it more perfect.

Later that week, I emailed Peter and thanked him for the experience, and also asked him about joining Activ8 hopefully after this summer. They shared with me a wonderful motivation to continue working with nature, and showing the rest of the world what an incredible place we live in. I am very glad that my parents were able to give me this life-time opportunity, and I couldn’t thank them or Active8 enough.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

No. I refuse to go through that again.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The one behind the mask.

God this is terrible. I mean, I know I said that I wanted to get more in touch with my emotions and whatnot but that doesn't mean having devastating things happen to you twice in a week :S That is seriously NOT what I meant nor how I wanted to go by it . u.u
You never realize how precious life is, not how fragile, until your standing next to the fine line between life and death.
You take friendship for granted. Thinking that the friends that you have will always be there, not matter what. But you don't realize that you actually have nourish those friendships too. And one day, they may walk out. And you can't stop them.
You don't realize how difficult love is. How everyday you're going to feel so alone... not knowing when you'll be able to see the other person again. You don't want to feel lonely, but you do.
It's awful when everything comes crashing down. It's like you've built up these walls, and someone begins to slowly tear them down... they put cracks in the base, until any little thing makes them start crumbling.
I'll admit, I wanted to begin to actually be able to cry... but this isn't what I intended. This hurts way too much.

I need a break. Or I need a distraction.

Friday, April 9, 2010

A Hard Days Night

8:30      Begin the fight with the alarm
9:10      Freak out at how much I slept in, get up and quickly get ready.
9:20      Text Dad to see if he can give me a ride to work.
9:23      Search around the kitchen for my thermos to put coffee in it.
9:35      Arrive to El Dorado.
9:37      Turn on computer, unlock archives and windows, turn on music in Club House.
10:15     Allow myself to drink the coffee.
13:05     Begin to fiddle my thumbs with boredom.
13:35     Glance randomly at the clock thinking if I do the time will go by faster.
13:50     Text Dad reminding him to pick me up.
13:52     Ask boss if there's anything else for me to do before I leave.
13:59     Turn off computer, lock archives and windows.
14:05     Get in the car and go home.
14:15     Arrive home.
14:20     Make something to eat.
14:45     Lay down for a while
15:45     Text parents to see who's giving me a ride to work again.
16:03     Arrive to gate guard and ask for keys to the office.
16:05     Open up the office.
16:10     Turn on computer, unlock archives and windows.
17:50     Remind Dad to pick me up at six.
17:56     Ask if there's anything else for me to do.
17:59     Turn off computer, lock archives and windows.
18:10     Arrive home.
18:15     Eat.
18:30     Collapse on my bed and fall asleep.
21:30     Wake up
21:35     Locate family members
21:40     Get online
2:35       Start willing myself to get off and go to bed.
2:55       Begin saying goodbyes
3:15       Sign out, turn off computer.
3:19       Brush my teeth
3:23       Get ready for bed.
3:27       Get in bed, turn off the lights, set the alarm.
3:43       Begin to get serious about actually sleeping.
3:58       Feeling the frustration for not being able to fall asleep.
4:19       Clear my mind, will sleep to come.
6:45       Wake up wondering what time it is.
8:30       Begin the fight with the alarm.

Fix You Up

Hey... sorry 'bout that last post. I had some serious friend problems... sometimes, it seems those are the worst. But meh...I'll try to keep the following posts a bit better. 

Today was a good day. My sister and I wrote the script for the Canada vid. And will probably start filming either tomorrow or Saturday. We have about 10 days until we show it to the world, so I think'll be good. I showed it to my Grandma who's very knowledgeable in videos and ideas for these sort of things, and she liked it... So I hope it goes well.

Hm... I feel like doing this magnificent post, but I'm honestly exhausted. So, I leave you with this:

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.