Monday, October 31, 2011

Spirits of the Dead

Thy soul shall find itself alone
'Mid dark thoughts of the gray tomb-stone;
Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
Into thine hour of secrecy.

Be silent in that solitude,
Which is not loneliness — for then
The spirits of the dead, who stood
In life before thee, are again
In death around thee, and their will
Shall overshadow thee; be still.

The night, though clear, shall frown,
And the stars shall not look down
From their high thrones in the Heaven
With light like hope to mortals given,
But their red orbs, without beam,
To thy weariness shall seem
As a burning and a fever
Which would cling to thee for ever.

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish,
Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
From thy spirit shall they pass
No more, like dew-drop from the grass.

The breeze, the breath of God, is still,
And the mist upon the hill
Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken,
Is a symbol and a token.
How it hangs upon the trees,
A mystery of mysteries!

Edgar Allen Poe

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Addicted to This Song

I can't even explain why I like it so much. But I do.

Get Ready for Embarrassing Stories

So I've decided I'm done playing the innocent, hard-to-get girl. Life is too short to be shy.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Another Update

Hello everyone. I'm really sorry for taking so long to write this update, I've tried writing a bunch of times but every time I've reached a dead end before I've even got my fingers past the 'enter' key. In other words, I didn't know what to write. But now that quite a while has passed, I have a bunch to tell you all!
So first of all, I've been working on University applications for the past two months or so, and out of the 6 I've completed 4. I'm applying to UNC at Chapel HIll, East Carolina University, Wake Forest University, Duke University, North Carolina State University and Campbell University. I'm not sure if you've heard of any of those, but they are all good places to go and most of them have either good science departments or pre-med. My main goal is UNC. I applied Oct. 15th, and hopefully will get an answer before December. I'm really anxious about it, but I hope it goes well. If I don't get it I'll most likely go to one of the other universities and then either finish my pre-med there and go to UNC for my specialty. I'm still going into Medicine, in case you didn't know already, and I'm really looking forward to that. If I end up going to another university that doesn't have a pre-med, I'll major in Biochemistry or Biological science, and then go into Med school from there. At least that's the plan for now, things change all the time, and at this rate my history teacher is going to end up convincing me to major in history! Naah, I might take a few classes in it though. My U.S. history teacher is converting me into a history geek. Growing up, I always hated (okay maybe hated is too harsh of a word, I always disliked) history in school. I did alright with it, but I just didn't like it. There were so many dates and so many people and you had to know all the different events linked with them all and it just was so frustrating and they always taught you the exact same thing and it just wasn't something I enjoyed in school. But coming here and learning the history of the U.S., I don't know if it's because it's something "different", or learning in English or if it's the teacher. But if I was betting on it, I'd definitely say it's the teacher. Mrs. Records is probably one of the best teachers I have ever had in my life. Ever. She's amazing, she makes it compelling and interesting, and she finds ways to make it easier to remember... she's fun and she's very good at her job. I love it. I absolutely adore the class, and it's turned my entire perspective on history around. Now it's not just events and dates you have to memorize, but really it's just how mankind has made the world where it is right now. She gives it a psychological twist, where you want to know 'why' someone did what they did, not just how and when. History is nothing more than politics and psychology. It fascinates me like it never did before, and that makes me very happy. So who knows, maybe one day I'll be a doctor with a minor in History. Hah :)
Moving on to more interesting things. Maya now has a boyfriend, isn't that cute? His name is Patrick and he's a really good guy. We all like him a lot. He's funny and smart and very good at conversations, and he seems to be very fond of Maya. It's nice to see her this happy too. I'm sure if you have been on facebook lately and have Maya added you'll have seen a few pictures of them together. She's in a play right now called Night of the Living Dead. She plays Dr. Grimes, we're going to see it tonight. But I've heard it's a really good play. It's a black and white play! How cool is that? Everyone is wearing only black and/or white, and their skin is painted white. The only color is the blood. It's very creative, if you ask me.
Noah is doing well, he's doing great in school and all the teachers adore him. He's the shining star at the school when it comes to academics, and he seems to be very popular. He's grown a lot since you've all see him, he's taller than me now! And his voice is getting all gruff and he's starting to grow facial hair... it's pretty cute. He's growing into a very handsome boy (if I do say so myself xD). All the girls are after him... but he's still oblivious as ever. It's adorable.
Mom is doing good, she's adjusting to life here and finding her own little niches to fill in. She's been cooking a great deal more and it's very great for all of us. She's got her own business now, and been working with that. I think she's still going to be making videos soon, which will be good.
Hmm...what else what else? I think I'm going to be going on a road trip next summer, which is very exciting. I'm hoping to get a car and my drivers license, so that will really help with carpooling here. We drive around a lot! I'm not sure where I'd go, but I've talked to a few friends and they're all interested in going too, so maybe we can make that happen. I really hope so, I love road trips, and I think 18 is a good age to start :D.
We have a puppy! We rescued this little pup named Layla. We were thinking about getting a dog a few weekends ago because we were feeling all sad and thought a pet of some sort would be nice, so we started flipping through newspapers for dogs for sale and stuff and we found one for a 3 month old Feist puppy for 50 dollars and we're like... what? 50 bucks? what's going on here? So I called the lady and asked her about the pup and she was REALLY weird on the phone, I could barely understand her and there was just something really wrong with the situation, so the next day we drove to her house to at least make sure that the puppy wasn't being mistreated or anything (and if she was that we could at least get her out of there and to an animal shelter if we didn't want to keep her) and we get there and the lady was living in like this barn shack of some sort and WAITING on the side of the road for us! And the poor puppy was in this metal cage thing and it was practically gray from all the fleas (she's white with a black ear ) and shaking, she could barely stand up or anything. It was really sad and we were there for like less than 2 minutes and grabbed the puppy, gave the lady the money and left. So we took her to the vet to get her checked out and deflead and she's soooo precious! Seriously so SWEET and love able and so energetic and bouncy and happy. Like a complete 180 turn from what she was like when we first saw her. Completely different puppy. She's seriously the cutest thing, and she's small enough and won't grow to be too big to take her on a plane with us to Mexico. So that won't be that big of a problem. The only problem is how much energy she has! She'll run around at 50 miles an hour chewing things up, but so is the life of a puppy. We are very glad we got her out of there.

Well, I can't think of anything else to write, although I'm sure there's more I could. If I remember anything I'll send another email soon :) I hope to hear from you soon!! And I miss you guys sooo so very much. We'll be visiting in December, from the 17th to the 3rd of January. So that's exciting. I'm looking forward to going home, no matter how short the trip will be.
I love you guys!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Layla the Tasmanian Devil

So, we got this puppy right? And it's this sweet sob story about how I called up this lady selling a Feist puppy for an unreasonably low amount of money, and I talk to her for a while barely understanding a word she's saying. I swear this lady was drunk, high or both. She kept going on about the puppy and how she needed the money and asked if we were going to pick her up within the hour (it was 10 at night) and just a bunch of crazy things. So we, a family of animal loving pushovers, decide to go the next day to at least see the pup, and make sure she's not being mistreated. That way, if she was we could just take her to the animal shelter and just get her out of that womans way. So we do, and after about a 2 hour drive we get there, and the lady is living in this shack of a barn... and the puppy was this gray, flea ridden pup that could barely hold herself up. It was almost a slow motion film, just picture it... we pull up, I practically jump out of the car, pick up the puppy, run back to the car all while Jerry is getting out his wallet and handing her the money. We're there no more than 1 minute, and then back in the car ready to get her to the vet. It turns out she's actually white... just imagine how many fleas she had.
So okay, it's a sweet story and all the while the pup was just curled up, all the while shaking in a plastic bag on my lap. She was a very curious little dog, staying awake most of the time and listening to us talk. We decided to name her Layla, because it's a darling name.
A week later, these are my thoughts: "OH MY GOD WHAT DID WE DO?" She's a freakin' Tasmanian devil! One minute she's sleeping quietly on your shoulder and the next she has this crazy look in her eyes and CHOMP! There goes a piece of your ear! Not even kidding, I have cuts on my hand and wrist from when she's playing with one of her toys and then decides human flesh nicer on the teeth. She's gotten so many thumps on the nose I'm surprised she's not a replica of Rudolph.
Also, my room is on the 2nd of a two floor house, right? There's stairs to get to that floor, right? WRONG. This thing that's smaller than my foot practically flies up those stairs, and one time when she was on the top and playing with who knows what, she literally rolled down the stairs. I thought she probably broke her paw or something similar, but next thing I know this little while flash of light is at the top of the stairs again! Considering she couldn't even go up the stairs a week ago, you could definitely say she's improved on her motor skills (get it? motor? :P). But that look in her eyes when she wants to play... man, it's scary. You know to just let her down and pull your feet up so she won't bite your toe off. I need to find a new form of discipline, she's freakin' scary.
Her teeth are like little razors... and she's SO FAST! Seriously, picture the fastest dog running you've ever seen, and multiply it by 5 and make the size of that dog about 6 inches long and 4 inches tall. I can barely keep track of where she goes.

She can be cute though... when she's sleeping. That's about it. She's absolutely insane, I do adore her though... as long as she doesn't bite off my arm.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I love looking over my old blogposts and being amazed at my own writing. It's a good feeling, I just wish the ability to write that way didn't come so rarely.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Why I Suddenly Love History

I recently interviewed Jerry Pounds for a History project. I had to ask him about an event in history that he was subject to, but that happened before I was born. I decided to ask him about the Vietnam War. By listening to him speak of everything that had happened and how he got through it I realized a very simple thing: every single detail in history is relevant. No matter how insignificant it may seem at the moment, it always will lead to a much bigger picture. Looking back on all of the things that led to the Vietnam War, it shows us how just a small event can lead to such a life changing moment in history. In 200 years from now, that will be just a speck of American history, but right now, in our past and in our present it is something that has formed many peoples lives. It is something that we were all affected by, directly and indirectly. I personally believe history is simply our actions affecting those around us. It isn't only a review of previous events, but also of the psychology behind those events. Why certain people made the decisions they did, that led to that action. Jerry was in the middle of such an outstanding moment of life and of our history. The fact that he was able to share with me that phase of history was not only fascinating, but completely genuine and full of emotion. He is a man that has seen many facets of life, and has conquered them all. His contribution to this project helped me understand and accept a deeper level of my past, one that did not begin when I was born, but when the world was born. I am the present, but I am only where I am because of the past. It would be unrealistic of me to not to learn and attempt to comprehend the puzzles that have led to where we as a nation, as a world and as humans have come. 


What will you do when you get lonely
No one is waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long
You know it's just your foolish pride

Layla, you got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging darlin' please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind?

Tried to give you consolation
Your old man let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you
You turned my whole world upside down

Layla, you got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging darlin' please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind?

Make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane
Please don't say we'll never find a way
Or tell me all my love's in vain

Layla, you got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging darlin' please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind?

Layla, you got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging darlin' please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind?

A/N: Just in case you didn't already know, we recently rescued a feist puppy that was being mistreated and we named her Layla. She's my little baby :)

Friday, October 21, 2011

Growing up

Growing up isn't easy, man. I always thought I had gotten through the hard stuff when I was 12. But no... I had no idea what was coming my way. Months of effort and sleepless nights put into university and scholarship applications. Long, thankless hours working at a job for a little extra cash or to save up for something special. Painful head aches and aching backs as I scrunch over a piece of paper with numbers 2 years ago I didn't even know existed. Not to mention the eye-rolling, heart pulsing, rage inducing drama related subjects that twitter and facebook only enable. High school is like living in a house full of puppies. You can't pay attention to them all at the same time, or keep them all satisfied, but you have to get to work and live your own life. And then you see a puppy you hadn't even known you had.
Life is good. It has it's ups and downs but in the end you may be a little bruised and scraped but you're alive, and you're happy. At least you will be, one day. Once you've patched up those cuts, stopped the bleeding and cleaned them out. You'll be able to get back on your feet, and keep running. For what? No one knows. No one needs to know, they just need something to run for. Someone to run for.

I don't know why I'm running. But I know for who, I'm running for me. I want this, I want to have everything I dreamed of. When I trip and mess something up, I want to be able to take a deep breath of the cool air, look up at the sky with the bright sun in my eyes, smile... and keep running.

I don't apologize for the cliché-ness of this song.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I am going on a road trip next summer.

Yes. Yes I am. I'm committing to it. I'm not sure quite where I'll go, but me thinks a visit to the Martins is way overdue. So, if you're free for a couple weeks this upcoming summer, YOU SHOULD LET ME KNOW! And we can road trip together :)

*so excited*

Friday, October 14, 2011

From a Pig Trough to Prosperity.

 I was born at home in a small village in Central Mexico and slept for two months in a galvanized pig trough. Growing up I spoke English at home with my American parents and at school I spoke an awkward, backward language that resembled Spanish until the channels in my brain were formed into full sized macaroni and were able to contain the super highway of words and phrases that previously had been nothing more than an alphabet soup.
My mom and dad had nothing when they moved to Mexico. They had very little money and struggled to keep me and my siblings afloat during tough times. We were no different financially than our poor Mexican neighbors. My mom washed our clothes on a rock in the river and knew how to make a pie out of flour, two eggs and Country Time Lemonade. Although we were a very resourceful family there were times that I really struggled with how difficult life was for us. My parents have always said “God gave us Lily because he thought we needed a responsible adult in the family,” and for years my mom had joked that when I turned eleven I needed to go out and get a job to help support the family. On my birthday, I put on my little rubber rain boots, walked out the door and did just that. Since then, I have never been unemployed.
Growing up in the middle of hundreds of dainty doe-eyed brunettes as a tall, awkward, blonde girl was a challenge at times. Although I spoke the language fluently, I always felt a gap between myself and my friends. Our cultures were different; my parents accepted and practiced many Mexican traditions, but never let go of their American roots. On Easter morning in the USA you have a bunny with a basket full of painted eggs and chocolate and in Mexico you have a man dragging an 80 pound wooden cross down a cobbled road with donkeys trailing behind him and soldiers painted silver with brooms on their heads.  
When my family and I moved to the United States, I began to understand how precious it was for me to have grown up in Mexico. I had much more understanding of the world, not only academically but culturally. As I met new people I realized that even here, even though I was American, I still didn't completely fit in. I was different; I was born and raised somewhere else, spoke a different language as well as English and had an entirely different life experience than other people my age on both sides of the border. Although my life has been unusual and challenging at times, I finally appreciate how it has shaped me. Despite the fact I have lived in abject poverty, the lessons I learned are invaluable in preparing me for anything I want to do in the future.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Glee Give A Note

Well, this is what I did with my weekend:

In my house

In my house, we get scotch when we're sick.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Because I knew you

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Monday, October 3, 2011

I Resign

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple.
When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again.
I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, unemployment, doctor bills, gossip,illness, and heartache.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.'s my checkbook and my car keys, my credit cards and all my responsibility.

I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, 'cause,

"Tag! You're it."