Saturday, January 21, 2012

Lily wants D:

Friday, January 13, 2012

Drift Away

One song. One song comes on the radio, and everything inside me collapses. I can't breathe, my hands are shaking... I'm standing up, writing on my calender and suddenly I'm on the floor, curled up against the wall holding my knees to my chest. I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I choke against my own breath, my heart beat pounding against my chest. I close my eyes and lean my forehead on my legs trying to catch my breath as memories flash across my eyes. I feel my energy draining from me, leaving me with a feeling of insecurity, doubt and longing. Just for one person, just for a hug from the last person I thought I wanted to see. With one song, I feel lost to the world, lost to myself and in need for that person to look at me and tell me in their soft voice that everything will be fine.

I never realized how much I missed having a fatherly figure in my life, and the worst part is that I realized during this song that the last person I truly respected and looked up to as a father in my life... was not my Dad.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

We Can Burn Brighter Than The Sun

Give me a second... I need to get my story straight, my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State. My lover, he's waiting for me, just across the bar. My seats been taken by some sunglasses,  asking 'bout a scar... And I know I gave it to you months ago, I know you're trying to forget. But between the drinks and subtle things, the holes in my apologies, you know I'm trying hard to take it back. So if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home tonight.

We are young, so let's set the world on fire. We can burn brighter, than the sun.

Now I know that I'm not all that you got, I guess that I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart. But our friends are back, so let's raise a cup cause I found someone to carry me home.

Tonight we are young so let's the set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the sun.

The world is on my side, I have no reason to run. So will someone come and carry me home tonight.. the angels never arrived, but I can hear the choir. So will someone come and carry me home.

Tonight we are young so let's the set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the sun.

So if by the time the bar closes... and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home tonight.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Let's Conquer the World

Whelp... exam week. 2 down, 2 more to go... Y'know, normally I'd be freaking out right now. I'd stress (okay I admit I'm stressed, but I'd usually be MORE stressed) about every little thing and being completely prepared. My life hung on the line of my school, everything I did... I had to get straight A's so I could get into Med school, I had to understand Chemistry and Pre-Calc and be able to completely get through each day with a confidence that I knew what I was doing... and as good as this sounds, I just wasn't happy. I'd come home each day with nothing to look forward to. School became a chore instead of something I enjoyed. I was exhausted day after day, and no matter how much I rested I could never recuperate what I needed. I wasn't inspired to do anything... until I started changing. I re-evaluated my life, what I wanted, my goals, and I decided that this just wasn't for me. I don't want to dedicate the rest of my life to this weight on my shoulders. I'm tired of feeling upset all the time and useless, I'm tired of feeling like I'm going to cry if I even get an 80 on a test... Now, sure, I'll be disappointed in myself for getting anything under a 85, but my future doesn't hang on it. I'm almost done, almost out of here, almost starting the next leg of my journey...and I can't even express how much I'm looking forward to it. I'm tired of high school, done of all this silly drama that just makes me want to stand up and walk out of the room. I'm ready to meet people who inspire me, instead of bringing me down. I want to have decent, intelligent conversations with kids my age who actually have a dream and something to look foward to, something that motivates them. I want to have a real and deep friendship that lasts longer than a few months, something that I want to explore and just enjoy. I'm so ready to leave... and now that I won't be crammed into a tiny room studying 24/7, I feel like my life has changed. And it has, but more than changed I feel like I've been shoved into a room full of opportunities, each one just as good if not better than the last. I'm excited for once, and not just in a "Yeah, it's a good life" way, but in a "HELL YES LET'S DO THIS!" way, and that itself is a relief. No longer do I have to cringe in a corner over a B or C on a Chemistry test... it's important, yes, but it's not going to decide what I do with my life.
I can't wait to have my own place, and do my own thing without worrying about school and home... I know it's terribly cliche, but I just can't wait to move on. So much has happened these past few years, I feel sometimes like I'm just being hit by bullets at every turn... so far I've dodged them, or perhaps been grazed, but I haven't been hit. I won't be hit. Life can throw whatever it wants at me... I will keep going, I will move on, I will get right back up and trudge forward. With mud-filled shoes, dark bags under my eyes, a pounding headache and useless limbs... I don't care. Life can't bring me down. I will lift my own life up if that's what it takes to get forward, to achieve what I want to achieve.
Just you wait and see... just you watch, trembling as I conquer the world... I will do it.

Monday, January 9, 2012

If I Were a Line

If I were a line
I think I’d be curled,
billowed and swirled,
and slowly unfurled.
I’d sweep over a page,
if I were a line,
with the wind in my hair,
and my heart laid bare.
That’s what I’d be,
if I were a line.

If I were a spot
I’d be round and fat
(now how about that?)
like an old, well-fed cat.
I’d have drizzled and dropped,
if I were a spot,
pittering and pattering
with a slight hint of smattering.
That’s what I’d be,
if I were a spot.

If I were a colour
I’d be a rich red,
like a painted deathbed
or a sword to the head.
I’d lunge for macabre,
if I were a colour,
made oh-so dramatic,
my thoughts all sporadic.
That’s what I’d be,
if I were a colour.

But I am a human,
so pale and flawed,
and easily bored,
(wishing I was adored).
I twist and bend
(these hinges, you see?);
my shape is no other
than the one I can be;
My colour, it changes
almost constantly,
because I am a human:
a human – that’s me.

If I tried to depict myself
in a shape - or a line -
that would be just fine
(If I could find such a line).

by ~dailenna

Sunday, January 8, 2012


I think it's time for a road trip.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

A touch of Sunlight

What one person with one camera can do to such a simple setting is amazing. No photoshop, no corrections or lighting... this is raw. I love it... can't explain why, after all it is only a plant, and maybe I'm looking into it too deeply but somehow the fact that it's a young tree just growing somehow inspires me. *shakes head and shrugs*

Friday, January 6, 2012


My life is just one grand countdown. No matter where I am, what I'm doing... in my head, I'm always counting down for something. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Salt Boarding