Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Where does the good go

Well... I'm going to try for the millionth time to do this. I really have tried (perhaps not a million times), but for some reason what I want to say is very hard to get into words.
A lot has happened, suffice it to say. My past couple weeks have been filled with schoolwork, friends, and buying male thongs. I recently won 2nd place in a 'dibujo a lapiz' contest (sketch/pencil drawing). That was really nice, it made me feel happy... considering, 1- I was NOT in the mood for drawing, 2- I haven't drawn anything in a long time, and, 3- I was completely and utterly unprepared. Therefor, it felt good.
A quick side note: I have not had caffeine for 2 months :D! WOOT! Current observations are that my shakes have indeed become much more subtle, but have not cleared away entirally. Also my sleeping habits are incredible, I'm actually able to go to sleep before midnight, and get up at the usual time. I'm probably quite a bit healthier now... which is, of course, a plus. It's amazing what certain (however mild) drugs can cause such disastrous affects on your body... well, perhaps not disastrous. But the small changes I've noticed so far are a huge difference.
Well let's see... what else is interesting... I learned how to play chess in one night :P. One of my friends (and now neighbor) plays chess, quite well- might I add. He came over today and taught me... I never knew you could learn how to play chess in one night, heh. Wow, he knows how to play the piano. I'm incredibly jealous. He's no professional, but he is indeed good.
On Saturday was Benno's birthday party. He invited quite a few people over to Victors house for a party and sleepover... but it only ended up being Benno, Arno, Victor, Myself and Denae. Zahra and Arif also showed up but not until later that day. And Zahra didn't stay the night... therefor it was myself and Denae, sleeping over at a boys house with 4 other guys. It was an awesome night. Denae and I both got him a gift together, it was absolutely genius: First, it was just normal hygiene stuff (everything any 18 year old guy would like to get), such as soap, deodorant, toothbrush/toothpaste, razors, mouthwash, etc. Then, we got him a bike horn (since he loves his bike so much... hehe). It was one of those really old looking horns with the huge thing you squeeze and then it makes noise... lol. Pardon my terrible description.
The next 3 gifts that we got him were just... genius. We got him a playboy magazine, a male thong and a tampon (that had "Just in case" written on it"). You have no idea how much fun it was shopping for his gifts. And his expression as he opened everything up was absolutely priceless.
After Zahra left, and we all had changed into comfortable clothes, we sat down in Victors room on the floor and just started talking. Bear in mind, the people there at that time were: Benno, Victor, Arif, Denae and I. Arno went to walk Zahra home, and came back in about half an hour. So... picture a sleepover with 4 guys and two girls... what's bound to happen? Well, it did: "Spin the bottle, Truth or dare." Man... it was scary. And it just figured that I had to open the game (Victor literally grabbed a spray deodorant thing and put it in the middle of the group) by asking Benno something. My question (best question ever) was "Have you ever had a peanut-butter and pickle sandwich?". I suppose you could probably guess the answer.
So the night went on like that... until around 2 a.m. or so. Yes, just to satisfy your curiousity... I was asked dry about my crush on Benno, and yes I was dared (quite a few times) to kiss him. No. I didn't, of course. But it was tempting. At times I wonder if I'll regret not doing it, but I don't think so. I'd hate (obviously) to kiss someone I like on a dare.
I realized that night how much I really do like Benno though. It sucks. It sucks tremendously.
A lot was confessed that night. I am amazed at how truthful we all were, you'd think that if you don't want to answer a question with the truth... you'd just lie. But I'm pretty sure that we all answered with complete honesty. How scary is that? The amount of information those boys know about me is quite terrifying. Same with what I know about them. We have MAJOR blackmail.
Well, I suppose this is the highlights of what has been going on in my life. A lot more has happened, of course. But none if it is as interesting as this is.

P.S. For that one person, I'm sure you know who you are. I hadn't planned on just writing down everything going on in my life here, I would have preferred telling you myself. But that hasn't worked out according to plan lately. So here it is, weeks worth of information in one blog. Perhaps we can catch up on more fairly soon.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Day Late Friend

Well... here I am again. And I'm afraid this time I won't be telling you about anything nearly as optimistic as a carnival night.
My best friend moved. She... left me. Well, I shouldn't say it like that, it sounds much uglier than it really is. She just had to go to college. There wasn't any way around it. And this is life. I'm perfectly aware of it, and I know that it happens everywhere and to almost everyone. But that doesn't make me feel any better about it. She was just... my best friend. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. I could always go to her, no matter what. I knew that somehow, she'd help me through whatever was going on. She'd always be at my side. And now... even though I still know she is, it's just not the same. I'm going to miss her so much. It still hasn't really hit me that she's gone. But I can guarantee you that when it does... it's going to hurt.
There's so much more I want to write. But at the moment, the words are simply falling out of my grasp. I can't think of how to continue this note, so I guess I'll just stop here.
I'll climb my way out of this hole somehow. I always do.
-Simply, me.