Saturday, February 21, 2009

Butterflies and Hurricanes

So... yesterday was the carnival. I had a great time. I went there with my sister around 8 30 and met up with some friends around 9ish. This year, the rides were great. There was one called "The Evolution", it was really awesome. Victor, Arno and I all got on it. Because of the fact the ride carries you upside down and goes around in circles... all the blood rushes to your head. When we got off, poor Victors head was like a tomato... the poor guy. His eyes were bloodshot! Hah. As for myself... I got off laughing hysterically. It was fun.
Sadly, that was the only ride we got on that night... well, the only "big" ride. There were 2 or 3 other ones that I wanted to try... but perhaps next time. Ahh! There was also paint balling :D:D:D. We didn't do it though... OH MY GOODNESS! The creepiest thing happened that night too: My sister and I were just walking around the carnival waiting for the rest of the group to arrive, when we decided to just go watch the people that were paint balling. So we go over (keep in mind, the location of the carnival was a park) and just stand in a dark, secluded area surrounded by trees, when a really tall, young guy walks past us and says "Hola Lili". Man, he freaked me out. I have no idea how he knew who I was... I mean, unless he had seen me in the light or something... Plus, I haven't seen that guy for 3 years! (He was a classmate in 6th grade, his name is Hugo... yes, I knew who he was but I just can't get over the fact he knew who I was) It was really really interesting... Man... Haha. Great night.
Let's see... the people who showed up that night were myself (obviously), my sister (obviously), Arif, Victor, Benno, Arno and Zahra (Arno's girlfriend). Also, Denae and Meagan had shown up, we bumped in to them a couple times... but they were off on their own.
One thing I noticed that night, that I'm not sure what to take from it, was that I was getting a lot of... odd attention from Benno (he's the guy that had previously told me that although he liked me, but he didn't want to be in a relationship right now because of time... or something like that). Just quick glances, small smiles, brief physical contact... such as him pulling me towards him with his hand on my shoulder and whatnot... It's just a bit confusing. But all right, it's better than the alternative... haha. Course then again, I suppose it's really not that odd... we've always been like that. The physical contact especially has always been a bit interesting between us. Just everything that's been going on with the two of us... makes me wonder.
Everyone started leaving around 11:45 or so, because Arif was going to give the group that showed up a ride to their house... so that kinda just left my sister and I there until my Mom decided to show up... so we walked around some more, we talked about random stuff... played a couple games. Then we decided we were hungry so we walked around the million food stands and decided to get Chinese food (at a Mexican carnival... haha). It was actually probably the best Chinese food I've had in a long time. Well, about this time it was probably 12:30, and we were getting really tired and just ready to go home. So, we called my mom about a dozen times (She was with my dad at a gig... so it was loud and she couldn't hear the cell), and then waited for another 15 minutes for her to get us.
We got home around 1ish... and although I was so tired I practically was falling asleep in the car, I still got on the computer *shakes head*. I'm really addicted to this thing. One day, when I have nothing 'of importance' to do on the computer, I'm going to ground myself for a month. This'll probably have to be once we move into town though... or else I'd die. But yeah, I'm going to ground myself and see if I survive happily. lol... I actually did that once... ground myself, I mean. It was only for a day though.

Well, now it's Saturday... 11:12 on a Saturday. It's a wonderful day out... and OH JEEZ! I'm going to be at rehearsal for a play I'm in from 12:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.!!! AAAAGGHHH!!! What the HECK am I supposed to do for TEN FREAKIN' HOURS at a THEATER!??? Oh well. I'll live. lol.


P.S. The reason I wrote my name "Lili" when describing what happened with that one guy was because in Mexico, that's the way they spell my name. And there actually IS a big pronounciation difference... It just makes it all more realistic. Hehe.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Yellow Submarine

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. More than usual, that is. I mean... shouldn't I feel hurt? Shouldn't I be sad, or let down? And yet... here I am, perfectly fine. I don't feel hurt, I'm not sad, I'm not even depressed or any of the sort! I can actually say I'm happy. I'm good... it just doesn't make sense.
Picture this: You have a crush on someone. It's a guy/girl that you've known for at least 3 years, and never even thought about liking them as more than just a friend. But you see them one day, and for some reason... it's different. They seem to shine more, their smile is captivating... beautiful. That person just is so much... better, and you don't know why. So you begin to want to be with them more, you start spending more time with them... and you realize that you have feelings for that person. Now, all of this happened in about 3 weeks. And at the end of those three weeks, the person you realize you like, comes up to you and tells you that they just can't be in a relationship right now.
Wouldn't you be hurt? Wouldn't you feel like you held your hopes up and just watched them crash? Yeah... That's what I thought.
Man... I'm so weird. I just don't know why I don't feel that way. I mean, the most I can say that I feel is dissapointment. That's it! And I saw him today and aside from his robotic hug (which I'm chastizing him for), it was completely normal. We're still good friends. But... gah! I almost feel like I should have more emotion in me.
But ahh well. That's just who I am I suppose. I've never really been hurt that way. Is it because I don't allow myself to get hurt? Do I somehow block my emotions? Or... did I even feel the way I thought I did for that person?
*shakes head and sighs* Another thing to add to the "101 Things Wacked with Lily". But hey, that's who I am... and honestly, I'd much rather it stay this way. I've gotten used to myself... hehe.