Sunday, June 26, 2011

Perhaps another redesign is in store?

Hm... I liked my blog until I saw Maya's... >.>

Saturday, June 25, 2011

A Toast To The Future!

So in exactly six days, I embark on a new adventure. One that will surely change my life, more than it already has. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, curious, wary and feeling very ready. A lot has changed in the past year, and even more in the past few months. But hopefully it's all for the good, and this new life that is ahead of me is one that I'm going to love as much as I think I will.

I'm excited for the future, but I'll never forget where it all began.

Here's to a new start... *clinks glasses*

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Blog Redesign -> Check

As people change.. their handwriting changes, their room changes, their fashion style changes, the way they speak, how they act and how they love changes.
I made this blog in 2008, and since then the design of it has been changed only three times, and the third... was today.

I've changed since then, and so has my blog.

I hope you enjoy :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Zartumei Opinions

Hey peoples. So I really, really would like it if you could post a comment with your opinions or what you think would make it better... because I will then delete the post. Y'know... copyright stuff xD My blog is very open to the public and it would hurt my soul if someone took what I've been working for so long on. 

Yep! That's all! That would be fantastic :) 

Chapter 1- Complete

There was noise around me, but all I could hear was my mother sobbing. Her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as her knees buckled to the ground. Her weary hands holding her face as her tears ran between her fingers. Long cries filled the air as I just stood there, stunned. My legs were numb, my hands felt much colder than the warm room should allow. My head was pounding, my chest compressed… I couldn’t breathe. How could this have happened? The doctors had just said all would be fine. The room was spinning, my heart beating abnormally fast, I saw spots everywhere. Someone was rushing towards me, calling my name, but it was too late. I hit the floor hard, and everything went black.

It was raining, the sky was dark and the wind was whipping my clothes around me as the rain blew into my face, concealing the tears running down my cheeks. I held my mother’s hand as she silently wept into a handkerchief. The pastor was saying something about life on earth, and how we all know it will one day come to an end. He talked about my father and how beloved he was. That was true, everyone knew him. He was inspiration, the model father and husband. There was nothing he could have done better.
Except warn us about his pneumonia, perhaps. That may have helped.
My father always worked too hard. He would wake up before dawn, and return at sundown. He’d come home for lunch and we’d all have dinner together. I’d miss him, but I knew I wouldn’t be the only one.
People had left; the pastor had ended the ceremony. I watched as my father’s casket was being lowered slowly into the grave after people said their goodbyes. My head was still spinning as I walked my mother home. Memories of my father swirled behind my eyes, memories that were more painful to look back on now that he was gone.
I never expected this to happen. My father, a hard-working man who loved his family… How could he just leave us? I felt devastated, alone and cold- both inside and out. I couldn’t make sense of anything, but I knew it was only the beginning of my new life without my father’s guidance, bedtime stories, laughter, hugs and twinkling eyes.
I arrived to the house, and unlocked the front door, guiding my heartbroken mother inside. I knew things would be different, and both our lives would change. But I could never have imagined just how much.


Jonathan gently tapped the door twice with his knuckles before walking through the office door in front of him. Nodding to the man behind the desk, Jon sat down and waited for him to get off the phone. A few brief moments passed, and the man set the receiver down.
“Jonathan! What an unusual surprise. What can I do for you today?” The man had coal grey eyes, and black hair, a very pronounced jaw and a straight edge nose. He wore an air of presence, and high esteem towards all around him. He was someone you felt you could respect. Jonathan had grown up around him; he had taken care of him after his father left. He was the closest person to him.
Hey Adam, you busy? I have a few things to talk to you about.” Jon sat down at the chair in front of the desk, and rested his elbows on the arm rests.”
“Of course, of course. I have all the time in the world for you. Unless someone else calls, in which case you will have to leave.” He wore a very straight face, and yet one could tell he wasn’t entirely serious. He leaned forward and placed his arms on the desk, and glanced closely at Jonathan. “It isn’t very important, is it?”
“No, not really. I’m just beginning to feel that I don’t have a real place here that I belong. Or rather, I want to continue with my life. I want to be a scientist, just like you. But I can’t start on my journey if I’m still working in the green house. I want something new! Something I can work on and call my own.” By this point Jon was at the edge of his seat, moving his hands according to his words, his face bright with excitement.
Dr. Adam was frowning, his hands in front of him, fingertips touching as he thought for a minute. “Hm… I guess I see where you’re coming from. But the greenhouse is a very important job. Someone has to do it, how else will we feed everyone? You’re at the top, my boy. It’d take weeks, maybe even months to train someone to do your job as well as you do right now. How do you expect me to find a substitute in time? You haven’t thought this through.” He waved the boy away, as to excuse him, but Jon was insistent.
“Please, anything. I’ll stay with the job I have now and train someone else until they’re capable. But I need to start something new or I’m going to have nothing exciting to do with my life! Adam, you know I can do it. Just give me a chance.”
Adam looked reluctant, and leaned back in his chair. “Fine, you can organize all the files and papers in the basement. That should keep you busy for a while.” He then picked up the phone once again, and began talking. Jon knew that was the end of their conversation, but at least he had accomplished something.

A couple months after the funeral, things had just begun to slide back into normality in my home. Nothing would be the same, but at least we could learn to accept reality.
My mother was coping with her depression, our nurse helping her. I began to adopt the responsibilities of our household. I began to support us through different jobs, and caring people who gave us food to keep us afloat at first. I cooked and cleaned, and continued with my studies. But throughout these few months, I still was not able to go past the door of my late fathers study. Every time I tried, my hand would freeze on the door knob, my heart would speed up and tears would spring into my eyes. I knew the minute I opened it I would be letting everything go, and starting over. After a while I thought that maybe, just maybe I’d be able to go through his room and all of his belongings without feeling like I would crumble, and join the dust on the shelves. Every thing that was familiar to me was inside that room, but I couldn’t make myself step through it.

The morning came when I knew I’d have to do it. It was six months after the death of my father when my mother came into our kitchen for the first time since. I knew the nurse could not have helped her, today was her day off. I could only stare at my mother as she began talking to me, faster and more enthusiastically than I had seen in months. I was only half listening as I watched her move her hands spastically as she spoke to me, scolding me, most likely. I was overwhelmed with emotion as I knew my mother was back to a new start. In an emotional state, I walked over to her and hugged her still frail body. Tears were in my eyes, my breath was caught in my throat and my hands were shaking as they clutched at her back. I knew at that moment that everything would be okay. We would work it all out. We would mourn my fathers death as a thing of the past, and not of the present. So many thoughts and emotions were rushing through me that I could only nod to my mother as she pulled me away and asked me if I was alright. I was great, I was fantastic. I had my mom back. 

We spent the rest of the afternoon on our couch, talking. She would tell me about the dreams she had as she slept the months away. She told me about how she kept thinking she would wake up and her husband would be sleeping next to her, and how it never happened. I held her, and then she held me as I caught her up on the state of our home and the town. I shed a few tears as we shared memories of my father. It was such a bittersweet moment, but I felt our bond as mother and daughter growing stronger, and I would never trade it for the world.

The following morning, I jumped out of bed, fearing everything of the night before was only a beautiful dream. I felt something claw at my chest as I thought of my mother lying in her bed, sleeping, with the dark circles under her eyes just like before. I quickly got dressed, and went towards her room. The door was open, and sunlight was shining into the hall. The windows were open; I could hear the birds singing outside, the wind rustling into the room. I walked through the door and found my mother sitting on the windowsill. Looking out towards our beautiful yard, humming a tune that I had not heard since I was a child. I leaned against the door frame, and watched her, memories flooding into my mind as she continued humming. It wasn't just a dream; everything really would be all right. 


A/N: Completely open to suggestions!! Tell me what you do and don't like, and if you think the last two paragraphs are redundant! :D :D