Monday, September 6, 2010

Going The Extra Mile

Last December, I was in a relationship with the captain of our volleyball team at school. The only reason I went out with him was to convince myself I wasn't head over heals for Chris. It was a tricky situation. The guy's name is JP (Which is what I call him, short for John Paul). He was a good guy, interesting, kind, but very impatient and I felt shoved while in the relationship with him. He really liked me, and I didn't like him at all. Not romantically. I broke up with him a month after we started dating, and for about three days afterward he wouldn't leave me alone. He would show up at my door, or "bump into me" while I was walking home from school, etc. Needless to say, I felt harassed. I told him to move on with his life, and to leave me alone. Next thing I know he took a bus to Nayarit and hitchiked back.
I didn't talk to him for about two weeks, even though I saw him fairly often. I stopped going to volleyball practice and didn't hang out with his group of friends anymore. Nearing the end of the school year, he starts something within our volleyball team and even though everyone was furious with him, I was the only one that would yell back at him. One of these times, he told me that his life had changed, and in consecuence, he had changed. That he didn't care who liked him and who didn't anymore, that he knew he was doing the right thing and was helping 'toughen' the kids up. I told him he was being ridiculous and that his life hadn't changed at all, and he was just using it as an excuse for his behaviour and attitude. He then shifted his glance and told me that having a family can change your life.
Now, when he told me this, I literally had a facepalm moment. I knew he had issues, but enough to go as getting a girl pregnant? I walked away from him at this point. No questions needed to be asked, I didn't care. I was just glad to have dodged that bullet.
The months passed, and I didn't really talk to him again. I didn't want to, he wasn't someone I wanted to have in my life.
Today, he showed up at our school again. He was going to be using the volleyball court to practice for a tryout he had coming up. After a while of ignoring him, I realized my curiousity was really getting the best of me, so I went up and started chatting with him. It was very awkward and uncomfortable at first, but not that bad once he said something that made me upset and I yelled at him. Almost normal. After a few minutes of nothing to talk about, I asked him if I could ask him a question, and he said sure... I asked if he had a baby. He looked at me, and said that he used to, a little boy. I didn't understand, and asked him what happened... he told me that he had a friend that was abandoned by her boyfriend when she got pregnant. She was thrown out of her house, and was left to fend for herself. She needed someone, and JP offered to help her raise the child, even though it wasn't his and didn't have feelings for her. He told her that he would get a job or two, and be there for her, because he didn't like seeing her so alone in a situation like this.
Luckily for him, I suppose, the boyfriend came back and decided to marry the girl.So he didn't end up staying... but that really astonished me. I thought that he had gone off and done something incredible stupid and immature, but instead he really did something noble and generous. It wouldn't have worked, mind you, the helping her raise the child. It wasn't his child, and he didn't love the mother... but it was really neat how he would have changed his life in order for the little boy to have a father.

I guess next time I'll ask questions before I go supposing the worst of people, even when I don't like them.

1 comment:

Mik said...

A valid lesson. Never judge a book by its cover, and don't suppose things without knowing the full story. This was a really great way to learn that lesson, and I'm glad that JP turned out to be a whole different person than you expected. Congrats on a lesson well learned. (I've been there too)