I was walking with a Ghost.

I just want to say hello! How is it going with the certain thing we call life? Ahh, well... just the usual. Holding back tears, breaking down walls... y'know, the usual. I suppose that was a bit unnesesary, suffice it to say, sometimes I wish I could just get back in your life. Wait, what am I saying? That's the last thing I want. My head hurts. I don't want you back, I have lived incredibly up until now without you in my life. Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me why now? Why is it that NOW you want to be friends? Everything you've done before, everything that you've said... it's all said otherwise to what's apparently going on now. Tell me why you trying so hard. What you did, what you said, what is it that you're feeling? You say you are interested in me? Hah. Sure... okay. So, lets say that you are, you just want me to let go of it all and trust you again. You want me to just FORGET? I'm sorry, but that is just not how I roll. You've broken me with your life. But now I have to work through myself, I have to figure out how I can forgive you. Why not with your help, you say? Take a wild guess. My emotions can't take this.?. Would everything be okay? Am I exaggerating? I'm known for that. Maybe this is just turned around.?. But Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. I can do this. I just needed to let that go, everything you've punctured my life with... and now You're supposed to be my friend, my... sister? I'm not spontaneous, nor careless... I want to forgive you, even if it means not being as grounded as I think I usually am. Or maybe that's why you have been trying to help me through this. It's not a clean break, but I don't want you to think that I'm holding a grudge, or that I'm mad at you. I always just have to think it through it a million times. Even if I want it to just... happen.

I will try to do this, I will pull your tangles out of my life. All my problems, issues... I'll work through them. You mustn't worry too much, let me take care of it. Even if it's on my own, give me time. Just let me try to live without sorrow, when it comes to the things you've hurt me with. Everything in my life has been triggered by things you've said and done. I thought your heart was keeping you from seeing reality, and maybe it is. But I can't do anything about that. Everyone says just let go. But you'd be surprised at how hard that is. Be happy, everyone will say. And for once, don't deal with the consecuences. Just do what your gut tells you to, I will try to let you be here for me. Let me let you help me. I forgive you.

Don't think I'll deny that I am hurt. I am. And don't think I can't escape, but why would I tell you I'm going to escape from you? Don't think I'm going to just run. I've made up my mind. I'll run with what I've said. I'm not going to try to replace the spot you could have in my life, with someone who is not you.

Confizzle.

Midnight December

Alas! Christmas has overcome us all, now hasn't it? We have survived once again this blasted wintry holiday, although I have to admit, I had a very good time. I will not bore you with the list of all my wonderful gifts this year, for I am unable to even begin to express my gratitude and happiness with just words.
I find it quite ironic, how it all works out for me during the Christmas season. I am stressed to my max everyday right up until the 25th. But on that day, in the end, it seems worth all of the stress and lack of sleep. I am glad that is the way it ends up being. I'd much rather it be in that manner than in any other. I hope all of you had a fantastic holiday also.
Alright, enough about the previous holiday... let's talk about the upcoming one: New years. Wow. What a holiday. Heh. It's got to be exhilarating sometimes to think that you've been alive for yet another entire year. It's beautiful really. As you get older, you may begin to think that this year may be your last... and in the end, to realize that you lived one more. One of the best gifts, if you ask me.
One of my best friends is hosting a new years eve party. Man, that's going to be one heck of a party. Not only do I get to spend an entire night with all of my greatest friends, but I also get to (finally) meet a very important person to me. Suffice it to say, I'm really looking forward to it.

Hey you

Have you felt like this before?

You got style but ain't got soul

Are you happy now?

Are you happy, tonight?

Or did Punk Rock get it right?

Is there no future in sight?

Oh is it different now? Is it different?

Heh, "Where are you" by Our Lady Peace. It's a really GOOD song. One of my favourites. I'll leave ya with that one.

I loved you all along

So... life is good. Christmas is coming up, I'm honestly not looking forward to it. I don't know why, but I've never really enjoyed Christmas... It's so... weird. I mean, why the heck do you sit around a decorated, dead tree with lights on it and eat candy out of socks? I just don't understand. I wonder where the whole idea of celebrating Christmas in that manner came from... I should look it up. I mean, I understand that we have it because it's Christ's "Birthday" and I know we give gifts because the three kinds gave him gifts... but still! Where did the tree and stockings come from? Saint Nick? Hah. Right...

Well, I've recently returned from a wonderful time in a couple states over. My high school supports 'internationality' (although at the moment it's only nationally)... I was asked a couple weeks ago to go to a Jesuit institute in a different state, to represent my school. Of course I willingly agreed, I love traveling. In the time that I was there, I accomplished many things: Volley ball tournaments, ecology projects... I also participated in a play that my class put on. But the very best time that I had was visiting the city. The very center of the center of it... was just... remarkable. Absolutely B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. The entire city was very elegant. There was next to no contamination nor pollution (which is amazing for a city), the highways and streets were laid out perfectly, to where the traffic flowed very liberally. And an abundance of absolutely beautiful, elaborately carved and well-maintained buildings and churches of architectural splendor. I took approximately a million and two pictures. =).

↕ Two of my favourite churches.

← Walking along the street.

One step at a time

People cease to exist all the time, but you never understand how heart-breaking it is until that person, is one you love. It's so... difficult. People glance at you, they see this pale face, with dark circles under the eyes. They think to themselves... "It must be so hard for them, but they'll get over it... eventually." They're just screwing themselves. You never can get over something such as that. It will haunt you, glare at you, scream at you- for the rest of your life. Whether you cease to see it, or look at it right in it's face. It's always there... always coming to your dreams, stabbing you behind your back, glaring at your heart. It will never leaving you in peace. There's only one thing you can do: Learn to act. Put on a mask, never let anyone see into the real you... Why? Because if you don't, it will hurt too much, more than it does already. Live with yourself, move on. Try to be happy. But that's the keyword: Try. Try, try, try, try, TRY! Never stop trying. There's more people out there, no one needs to see you suffering over something that you can not change. No one cares, why should you? Just one step at a time. And then... attack.

Written by: Rebekah Lewis,
In memory of: Jon Lewis

One man army

I have just recently begun to realize how amazing the ability to write is. Write, not as in the general concept of putting together letters to form legible words, but more as in the skill to integrate these words into intellectual phrases, and then transmit them to the eyes of all readers. The gift, the beautiful talent that some people have to just be able to do that naturally... it's amazing. I never really appreciated it before. One of my best friends, I remember, is a great writer. But I had never realized the talent that she has for writing. I always knew that she was good, but never really understood how... nor the extent of her ability. Needless to say, she's a very talented author.
Another close friend, also has an incredible talent with words. He knows exactly what to say, how to say it and where it will get him. Admittedly, I am very jealous.
People such as these two, are born with the gift. It is transmitted into their creative thinking. They're able to write such amazing pieces naturally, without having to plan it out much. They are able to be creative, yet logical in their writing... and still have it all make incredible sense.
Many of the billions of unique persons here on the planet have this gift, others... such as myself, don't. Although some people on this earth don't have the gift... that doesn't mean that they can't try to bring it into their lives. See, there's a difference between a gift and a talent. A gift, is something that you're born with; it comes naturally. Whether you enjoy or use this particular gift is completely up to you. Talent... comes when someone wishes that they had that gift but they were not supplied with it. They work at whatever it is they want to perfect, and if they have the determination for it... they will in the end be able to accomplish whatever it was that they were interested in.
I had never wanted to be a writer before, it was never something that had interested me, or captivated my attention. But lately, as I've become to realize what writing is really all about... I've wanted to work on my own. That is the entire reason that I started this blog. I figured that if I knew people were going to be reading whatever I wrote, I had to make it good... I am still pondering why exactly I sought this remedy for my ineptness, but I do believe that even in the short time I've had this, I have improved.

I would like to end this quick thought, with this: If there is anything out there in the amazing world in which we live in, that you want to do. That you are determined to perfect, to master, to accomplish... then you can do it. Absolutely anything that you put your mind to, you are capable of completing it. It doesn't matter who you are, how old you are, nor anything about your life. None of that matters, it's all about you. It is all about the person inside of you, who wants to unleash all it's creativity to the world. Trust in yourself, believe in yourself... and you will succeed. Follow the path that was made for you, but plant the flowers on your own.

Day of the Dead

Today is the "Day of the Dead" in Mexico. It is what many foreigners would associate with Halloween in the states and Canada. But it's an entirely different thing.
Mexicans have a lot of respect towards the dead. All of their deceased family members and friends are remembered constantly, but specifically on one special day. This holiday is currently divided into two days: November 1st and 2nd.
The first of November is dedicated to all of the children and younger people that have died. Everyone that was in their family reunites on this day at the cemetery that the child was buried in. They bring flowers, food, candles, clothes... anything that the child liked at one point in his life. Then they decorate his/her grave with everything they brought. Sometimes they will do altars like they do for the older people that died, but most of the time they will simply decorate the grave.
The second of November is dedicated for everyone else: The elderly, the adults, anyone who died above age (18). For these people, they build altars (as previously mentioned). The altars can be either 3 levels, or 7 levels.
The three level altars symbolize the Trinity: God, the Son and the Holy Ghost. On the first level (highest off the ground) they put things that at one point belonged to that person. Such as, clothes, many photos, letters, if the person enjoyed any sport they would put something from that sport (i.e.: soccer ball, baseball bat, ballet shoes, martial art belt, etc.), jewelry, and in many occasions, a bible.
On the second level, they put a picture of the Virgin Mary (keep in mind this is a catholic tradition) and a cross. They also put the persons favourite food, drink, desert, etc. On that same level (it is more difficult on the third level altar than the seventh.) you are to put a basin of water, soap, wash cloth and mirror. This is so that when the spirit of the person they are dedicating it to can look at itself and wash up before eating. Also the mirror is to ward off bad or evil spirits.
On the third level they put candy, alcohol (if the person drank), toys, special things that were loved from that person, stuffed animals, etc.
At the bottom of the third level you are supposed to put a cross made from ash (NOT human ash), or wood shavings. This is also to ward of evil spirits.

On the seven level altar you do basically the same thing, only you are to separate each of the three level items onto all seven: First level (highest off the ground): Picture. Second level: Idol of Virgin Mary, Picture or idol of Christ, candles. Third level: Clothes, letters, pictures of family and friends, and any miscellaneous item. Fourth level: Food. Fifth level: Basin of water, cloth, soap, mirror. Sixth level: Toys, Candy, Deserts, special day of the dead items, candles. Seventh level (floor): Cross made from ash or wood shavings. Also, for this size altar many times they will make a path leading to the altar. This path is made also from ash or wood shavings and is outlined by a special flower called "cempasúchitl", which are similar to orange marigolds.
The seven level altar symbolizes the seven "heavens". I do not know very much about the catholic beliefs on this, it is either the seven steps that you have to do to be able to get to heaven, or it is literally the seven layers to heaven. Catholics are very confusing... Although I do find this specific holiday/tradition one of their most interesting and incredible holidays. What they believe is really just... remarkable. Also, this tradition has been going on since the Mayan and Aztecs. Although they celebrated it probably a bit different, the whole of it is the same.

Wow, this is a pretty long post. If you read this far, you're awesome. Send me a message (lol).
Well, now you know a little more about Mexican traditions.
'Till next time!
-Silver