Tuesday, November 24, 2009

You're The Voice

Huuuuuuuuuh. Bluh Bluh... 'kay so I gotta question for all you folks: If you hang out with a particular person of the opposit sex for a good while, you talk and you get to know that person and that person gets to know you. You hang out many times a week, voluntarily or not. You see them everyday at school and then you allow that person to do certain things such as put their arm around your shoulder and hug you often and what not... and although you do not feel anything for that person out of just a good friendship... are you leading that person on? Are you making them feel like there's something more there than there really is? And if you are... what do you do to stop it? How can you let that person know without just coming out and telling them bluntly, that you don't feel like that for them? I'm a nice person :S... I can't just shrug off their arm on my shoulder or pull my hand away if they reach for it. I'm just not that cruel... and yet I don't want to 'ignore' them so they'll back off because they're a good friend and, yes, I admit it, I like the physical contact. But I don't want this to happen again. It happened once and the results were disastrous... Guh. So apparently I'm the incarnation of Cupid... but it's so different to figure things out for myself and my own relationships than it is for others. Even when I try to imagine this scenario with someone else and figure out what my advice for them would be... it just doesn't work. My own feelings get too mixed up. I need another me xD.


Mik said...

Hey girlie,
I'm signing up for the "other you" job for the moment and hoping that it helps. Although, I'm sure you couldn't gotten out of this without my intervention:
An arm around the shoulder can be left there since it's not a big deal, but a hand on your can be made a short thing if you move away to gesticulate. You should be clear to the person that you're not interested in anything as more than friends. Not verbally necessarily, although you could tell them about your "crush" who you'll be seeing that night at a movie or something.

Either that or simply tell it right out. Tell him you're not looking for a relationship with anyone. You don't even have to say it directly, go about it in a roundabout way. Start off by saying that someone asked you out and you said no because you're just at a stage where having a relationship isn't an interest. Of course if it's because you're just not looking at him that way, then that's where you have to make it clear that he's a really good friend. And keep telling him that. "You're a really good friend. Don't ever change" implying that there's nothing more to add.

Do your best!
And don't worry about the teenage blues, they hit everyone. By the way, it's not just a teenage thing. It happens your whole life, however... Maybe with less drastic results.

Thingsleftunsaid said...

Lily, just roll with it. All you really need to do is just go with the punches and you'll be fine. The only thing you really have to be careful of is to not complicate things. Best of luck to you!