We Are Family... Get Up Everybody And See.

So y'know what I've come to realize lately? How important it is for my siblings to have someone at their backs, holding them up and together. Someone that they can truly look up to and help them through all their tangles. I never noticed how much they depend on me for certain things until now... and I do my best to help them. There's always going to be times when I snap at them or don't want to have anything to do with them... but at the end of the day, they are my siblings, and I love them very much.

I woke up today, and found a cup of coffee on the stairs with a note saying "A magical cup of coffee, all ready to go :)" from my brother. I smiled, and muttered "I have the coolest brother" before going upstairs. But now, all morning I've been trying to figure out why he did that. I mean, what did I do that would make him want to do something for me? Rarely does he ever do anything for me... or so I thought. And then I started thinking even more and I realized, every day Noah does something or says something nice to me. Then I began thinking about Maya... and I realized that, although it's not as often or as noticeable, she does do things or acts towards me in a kind and considerate way. I hope that this is something that I do for them too. I hope that at the end of the day, when they think back on it they can remember at least one good thing that I was able to do for them.

I want to be a big sister that they can lean on, and they can rely on. I want to be someone that is their friend... who they can talk to about anything... I want to be a big sister who when we all grow up and go our seperate ways... every now and then they think about me and wish I was there. And a sister who they still keep in touch with throughout all the twists and turns in life.

I know they can be all of that and even more for me.

When I See You

 

Just to make it clear... I don't stare, I casually glance :P Haha.

This Is The World That We Live In

It's taken me a while to make a blogpost... simply because I want it to be absolutely fantastic, and not just some random post of mine that I do because I'm bored. I've actually gotten two posts already started, but didn't have enough motivation to finish them. The first was about a few books that I really recommend and the other one was... about something else, but I can't remember. It's not important.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that all the kids my age now a days want to do either one (or all) of three things all the time: Get drunk, smoke, or get sexy with someone else. Be it their boyfriend/girlfriend or some random person they found when they got drunk and high. It's really disappointing. There's so much more to life than that...

I got in trouble the other day at work. A lady that I sell jewelry to came into the café and told me she had a bunch of stones and jewelry that she could give me if I wanted, but that I had to go over and get them now because she was leaving. I went up to my boss who was attending a table (the only couple in, since it was nearing closing time) and once he was done talking with them, I asked him if I could go. I saw him hesitate, and then he told me to be quick about it.
I got back about 15 minutes later, and the place had been cleared away and picked up, and I could tell my boss was upset. I felt really bad, and didn't know how to address the situation, so I didn't. Which I suppose was a good thing, because the next day he told me that he was thinking about it the night before, and he realized that I am only sixteen. I mean... I'm good at what I do, but I still have a lot to learn. Once he told me that, he explained to me what I should have done, and how the way I went by doing all of that really affected everyone, including the customers.
The thing is, even though he said he forgave and wasn't upset anymore... I still feel guilty and bad. And like now I have to walk on eggshells because any little thing I do is just going to spoil it even more. But I suppose it'll all work itself out. The sad part is that I'm getting kinda tired of working there, and I've only been there two months. Ahh well, I'll figure it out.

You know what is strange? I have talked to quite a few people (briefly) about my relationship with Chris, and I've come to notice that young people, and older people are the only ones who truly understand. Beats me why this is, but I have talked with kids my own age, and a few of them can relate, and they all really understand what I'm going through. And I've talked to older people (above 40-ish) and they too are very knowledgeable and ask me all about it. But then there's the ones in the middle... The early twenties to late thirties... They laugh, and scoff at me when I tell them I'm in a long distance relationship. They look at me like I'm crazy, and they just laugh like I'm the biggest joke. What's with that? How are younger and older people the ones who really get it?

Hmm... we still have three of Ruby's puppies. We need to find homes for them... Anyone want a puppy?? They're adorable, seriously. The cutest and smartest things you've ever seen. I (L) them.

An Idea

So I have this idea... and I need your help. I need a new hobby, and I have to projects in mind. The first one actually wasn't my idea, but my boss shared his thought of making a book about the little cute stories everyone has to tell about their pets. Anyways, that's a different thing all together. MY idea, my own project, is that I'm going to be making a web comic of sorts, one of those one-panel-a-day stories that each one has not much to do with the last. Or maybe it will have a storyline... I still haven't really figured it out. But the background will be a stage of a theater, with all the red curtain drapes and pretty-ness, and the characters will be theater masks. You know, the 'happy-sad' masks? Well, it will be those but in all other different expressions and portraying their own personality to go with that expression. Kind of like the seven dwarves and their "Happy", "Grumpy", "Dopey". something like that, anyways.

I need your help with, first of all, the story line. Do you think there should be one? Or should it just be random things that have to do with acting and theater and such, or should each random thing follow some sort of plot line and idea? I really don't know. I don't even know what I'm going to do it about, but I think that if I really stick with this, it could be a lot of fun. I also don't know of I should do it by hand: Like, I cut out a stage background from construction paper and all the masks also with their expressions drawn on, and then I'd create the panel, take a picture of it, and upload it. Or if I should do it on the computer, and create a background in photoshop or something and use the same faces and just draw different expressions on them. The thing with the latter, is that I really don't know how to draw on the computer. I mean, I know photoshop pretty well, but I don't really know if I could draw something that doesn't end up looking like something a kindergardener did.

So anyways, those are my dilemmas. What do you think?

These Words

These words from reviewing stands and these in parlors,
these, sewn by the thick thread of a voice
into the official-blue bag of a suit, and
those, stripped naked of their denim
in the probing search of revision;
these, known from having been heard too often, and those,
scarcely remembered from having been seen
so rarely; these words, which easily
let themselves slip through the strainer of a microphone,
and those, which must work themselves through a grating
with immense effort; these,
delivered with unflinching audacity, and those,
whispered softly from shame and anxiety into the ears
of a guard; these, spoken straightforward
into the dry eye of a camera, and those, which at being spoken
one's eyes lower, for it is hard to bear a woman's tears;
these words, which are broken in conference rooms
by stormy, long, unceasing applause,
and those, in visiting rooms broken
by the intervention of a watchful clock; these words,
these words of speeches too long and conversations too short
are—I know it's inconceivable—words
of one and the same tongue.

Stanislaw Baranczak

Tell Me a Story

I met a man today at work, a simple-looking guy with wrinkles around his eyes from smiling, probably in his late fifties. He was sitting alone at a table, the only customer in the restaurant, so I decided I'd join him with a cup of coffee. We got to talking, he told me about his small adventures from having moved down here and about his family. I noticed that everytime he mentioned his wife, he would smile and talk about her very enthusiastically. I asked him how long they had been married, and he said almost fourty years, and it still felt like just a few months. he went on telling me about his marriage with her, and how they met. It had been a long distance relationship, with her in Florida and him in Ohio. When they started going out, he wasn't sure it would last, but only after a year or so in he realized he would never be able to live without her. Six months later, he asked her to marry him when he went to visit for the summer. They eloped when they were just out of highschool, and had a traditional wedding a few years later.
He is still completely in love with her, time had grounded them more, and made them much wiser. But at heart, they were still both young teenagers in love.

I don't think you can imagine how much hope that gave me.