"Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day. Such is the salutation to the dawn."

The Race Is On

I feel tears wellin' up cold deep inside
like my heart's sprung a big break
and a stab of loneliness sharp and painful
that I may never shake
You might say that I was taking it hard
since you wrote me off with a call
But don't you wager that I'll hide in sarrow
when I may lay right down and bawl

Chorus

Now the race is on
and here comes pride in the backstretch
Heartaches goin' to the inside
My tears are holdin' back
They're tryin' not to fall
My hearts out of the runnin'
True love's scratched for another's sake
The race is on and it looks like heartaches
and the winner looses all

One day I ventured in love
never once suspectin' what the final result would be
and how I lived in fear of waking up each morning
finding that you're gone from me
There's ache and pain in my heart
for today was the one that I hated to face
Somebody new came up to win her
and I came out in second place

Chorus

Now the race is on
and here comes pride in the backstretch
Heartaches goin' to the inside
My tears are holdin' back
They're tryin' not to fall
My hearts out of the runnin'
True love's scratched for another's sake
The race is on and it looks like heartaches
and the winner looses all.


This, is one of the most brilliant songs ever written. It starts off with the heartache, the loneliness, the sorrow of one man. And him telling his point of view... and then as it hits the chorus a horse race has begun. It's really ingenious the way that he integrated the names of all the horses of the race course into a realistic song and story that I'm sure many people have experienced.

If you want to hear a good version of this song (It's originally a George Jones song and has a Travis Tritt version) listen to the one by Sawyer Brown. It's the best version, in my opinion.

Later.

I'm Smellin' Coffee

And so... I didn't think I would continue this blog, seeing as it wasn't a very high priority and I found more faith in my own handwriting on pages of a notebook. Bah. But, after two close friends mentioning to me that they were reading my blog and wanted me to continue... well, here I am. I'll give it a try; I did enjoy it when it turned out to be a nice blog... heh.

A couple days ago, I woke up in a really good mood. It was strange, because that doesn't happen to me often. Many school friends or people in general mention to me that they'll wake up many times a week in a good mood... but I am normally not able to fully understanding how that is, seeing as it doesn't tend to happen with me. Usually I'll wake up and whatever I do in the next two hours defines my mood. If I wake up, go outside... realize how absolutely magnificent the sun looks shining over the lake, how wonderful the fragrance in the air is, due to a rain shower the night before. And after just standing there for a couple minutes, enjoying it, I'll go inside and I smell coffee, and I hear the chatter of my family and my dad's music. All of this puts me in a good mood. I'll get a cup of coffee; I'll sit down for a while with my Mom, who at this point will most likely be working on her computer in the living room. I'll sit, and if she has nothing to tell me, I'll stand up and depending on the availability of the computer I'll use it or not. All of this combined will put me in a good, tranquil mood.

Aah! Next scenario: I wake up to my cell phone ringing; a close friend of mine is calling for whatever reason. This puts me in a great mood... as long as the news that this friend wants to tell me is good news, hehe.

BUT... if I wake up, and I don't want to get up, so I got back to sleep... and then abruptly awaken once again an hour later and realize I'm going to be late for school... I jump up, get dressed, do my hair, do whatever else that is needed to be done that morning and run out the door to catch the bus, or ask my Dad pretty please.... usually, this doesn't put me in that great of a mood unless we stop at an OXXO or 7/11 for some coffee. Yes, most of my mornings consist of a cup of coffee... at least it's not more than one, right?... right...??

I'm not sure why I'm talking about my mornings. Let’s see... this morning I woke up early, due to some homework I still need to get done. I go upstairs to hear my Mom talking with some strange guy I do not recognize about the paint job she wants done in the house. I then circle around in the kitchen a couple times to see where they put the coffee pot this time. This morning, there was some hot coffee left, it made me happy. So, I got a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and got on the laptop to find a couple emails... yes, not just one, a couple.... emails from some really close friends I hadn't heard from in a while. Aaah... so, here I am. In a good mood already and I haven't even stepped out of the door. I suppose what this whole 'good mood in the morning' is a very subconscious/conscious (I'm not sure which) decision. You'd think after finding this out that I would want to make every morning a good one, right? Well, that's not so. And it's not pure laziness... it's also the fact that if every morning was a good one, then we wouldn't appreciate them now, would we? There has to be a bad egg in every batch of good ones so we can appreciate them more. Aaah... Yes, I suppose that's it. It's also laziness... hehe.

Jumping Rooftops

It's interesting how you can want something that you know is something you can or should not have. You have this sort of pull that keeps you going in the direction of that one thing that you want although you have some sort of string or strand of thought and reason that keeps you away from it. All of your thoughts kept jumbled up in the process of reason and whatever else it is keeping you there or keeping you away.

I remember, one December evening, my Mom was talking to me about you and trying to convince me that 'love' is magical and it doesn't always have to work out right that point in time, that sometimes you have to just take a leap and work through it later. At that moment... I didn't believe her, because I found it ridiculous and almost immature... but, now as I see everything that happens everyday... perhaps all it is a tiny hop. One step forward... a couple steps back. And then a jump forward.

And yet, as I write this I feel almost pathetic... I told you what you should do last night... and yet we're not really going by it. So much would have just been simpler if we had... but it's not over, eh? I don't know about you, but I'm happy. This feels... good, and right. And the way that it feels to have your arms around me... I feel so safe, and drowsy almost. Like I could fall asleep right there... of course then again I am practically half dead, but that's not the point. And then when I feel like that... I feel so guilty. Because I know that I shouldn't feel like that, it's wrong and I have no right to be thinking those sort of things. I should just stop right here. Quit writing a ridiculous blog with you only a couple feet away from me. There's so much that I want to say, so much that I feel that I need to tell you, and yet I don't... or I can't, or I just don't know how.

"Either we're ridiculously pathetic... or ..." I never did finish that, and I don't even know why it suddenly entered my mind. There is an ending to that, you know... I just don't think it would be wise to finish it. And I don't think you'd be all that happy to hear it. Again, I don't know why I'm writing this.

There is so much more that I want to say, and write out... but I just don't know where to start and I'm running out of time. I'll write more later, but for now... I'll leave it at this.

Until next time,
-Lily.

Hop the Fence

*deep sigh*

And so it goes: Life is... I'm not really sure... it's interesting. That's for sure, But it's full of ups and downs. I suppose that's kind of how life should be though, right? completely unexpected? Well if it is, then I've got a pretty good life. Not because of the good things happening, but of the unexpected.

I was talking to a good friend of mine not too long ago, and something he said really stuck to me... and the more that I thought about it the more it's true- "Life just get's more complicated as you get older." And he's right. Lately, I've been hit with so many decisions and choices to make that will either affect my near future, or my life... let me tell ya, they SUCK!
The first decision that I had to make literally cost me 3 days of my life :S. I had to decide on whether I wanted to go to one of my best friends High-School graduation... or go to school and finish 3 important tests. Now see, normally it wouldn't have been a problem, I would have just talked to the principal and asked him if I could do the tests a couple days before, or so. But my situation was special... *rolls eyes*... I had skipped a week of school before test week and gone to DisneyWorld. Of course, the only reason I went to DW was because of the Swine Flu issue and the fact that they were taking TWO WEEKS off our summer vacation... our summer vacation that is already only 6 weeks long. So we have a month-long-summer vacation. So me and my friend decided "Phooey on that!" And we went on our summer vacation a couple months early. Aaaaanyways... back to the story. So the school (everyone knew where we went) still pardoned my absence and let me recover that week of school-work... so letting me skip school that day to go to the graduation of 3 friends who I'll probably not see again for a really long time was near to out-of-the-question. But I fought... I fought hard. I did everything I was capable of to get them to let me... but they still said no. So... I had the choice of just skipping the tests and go to the Grad or skip the Grad and do the tests. The thing that made this decision a difficult one was the fact that my parents were behind me on either choice... :S. They didn't say "No, You have to go to school. That is top priority right now for your future." I think they didn't say that because they knew I already knew that... Pff.... soo... I had to choose. Can you guess what I choose?
Yeah, you guessed right... I did the tests.

But that's okay, I don't think I missed out on much anyways... it was just the chance to see them again.

There's also "Decision number Two" and "Decision number Three" but... I don't feel like posting them on the internet. If you'd like to know, just send me a message. If I'm in a good mood, I'll tell ya all about it there.

So... a lot is happening in life right now. My school is giving me a break now though, the principal is scarily proud of me because I didn't go to the Grad... I find it both intimidating and amusing.

I've been working a lot on my mandolin playing... It's actually a lot of fun. I've been hit with a wave of inspiration 10 miles high... I love it! I wish it would happen to me at work... I'd love that too! But I've been following Chris Thile's tips and hints on how to play and what to do right and what NOT to do. I really think I'm improving. Right now my goal is to learn "Ode to a Butterfly" by Nickle Creek. If you haven't already heard it, check it out. It's a beautiful song... and beautifully complicated :/. Haha. But that's what makes it all worth while.

Another thing I'd like to write down, just for the sake of writing it down... is that I've recently made a new friend. I really like him. He's one of the very few out there who I really think understands me... either that, or he just accepts me the way I am. I find myself looking forward to the next time I talk to him, every time we say good-bye. It's nice. Not to mention he's so... weird. In a good way, of course. But he's just so different. And he likes it that way... he doesn't change for anyone. He's who he is, and he knows who he is. It's a nice change, and that's what makes it so awesome.

Alright, I'm going to leave it at this.
Ciao!
-Lily

P.S. -- "If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't return, hunt it down and kill it....
now, how to kill it is where the fun lies"
by: Héctor T.

^.^

Hello.

I'm writing here... to clear my mind of a bunch of things. As I've been agreeing with a good friend of mine... life really does just get more complicated as you grow up. No one child would want to grow up, if they understood of the complications that we'd have to face once we did.

I guess that's just what makes the journey of life so interesting... or maybe it's what makes it so confusing. Either way... this is what it is.